Gen Z Is Tired Of 7 Things In Relationships That Boomers & Gen X Still Seem To Think Are Normal
PeopleImages | ShutterstockMarriage and having a family are no longer things people aspire to achieve by a certain age. So, it's really no surprise that dating and relationship beliefs are changing for young people like Gen Zers.
This generation has more freedom to live authentically without immediately conforming to traditional norms. In fact, so many of the things instilled in boomers and Gen X about relationships are no longer normal among young generations, who are tired of certain traditions and expectations.
Things Gen X and boomers think are normal in relationships that Gen Z is tired of
1. Following strict gender roles
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Women stay at home to cook and clean and watch kids. Men work and provide. These are the traditional roles for a strict gender binary system, and the foundation of a nuclear family in the eyes of many older generations. But Gen Z are challengers, and this is one of the many norms they've pushed back on.
While there's certainly a resurgence of these traditional gender roles in younger men, for the most part, it's something many young people are rejecting. They're settling down and choosing to get married later in life, if at all.
2. A specific relationship timeline
For most couples in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, there was a normalized timeline to dating. You dated for a year or two, got married, bought a house, and eventually had kids, all within 5 to 6 years. Today, the timeline is tiring for many Gen Zers, who are sick of feeling like they're running out of time or disappointing their families by choosing another path.
Whether that's having a long engagement or rejecting the construct of marriage entirely, they're tired of feeling like they don't have a say in the direction of their own lives and relationships.
3. Getting to know someone in person
With the introduction of dating apps and a higher consideration of safety when meeting strangers from the internet, Gen Z spends their time getting to know someone offline. Some reject a long "talking stage" where you're feeling the vibes over the phone, but for many people, especially women, it's essential to protect their safety.
Yes, it's often best to make a final decision on whether or not someone's a good fit for you in person, but there's no getting around the digital aspect of relationships that Gen Zers have to consider. They're tired of being criticized for it, because it's a part of their life and the world they're navigating.
4. Finding a soulmate or your 'person'
Gen Z is passionate about finding meaning and purpose in their lives. They care about authentic self-expression. While many still like the story of finding a soulmate, there are a lot of young people who challenge the idea of finding their purpose in another person.
"Their person" isn't a partner who solves all their problems or makes life worth living. It's them. Instead of trying to find the right person, they adopt the mindset that they'll be the right one.
They're investing in themselves and leaning into finding the right career. They're building their lives and saving money. They're fine with waiting for someone who fits into their life, even if it means delaying the timeline that older generations were strictly held to.
5. Believing that singlehood is bad
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So many older generations were expected to settle down and get married, so they believe that being single is a bad thing. Many even felt the pressure to avoid divorce and stay in bad long-term relationships just so they didn't have to be single or alone.
Gen Zers are adopting singlehood as an empowered choice. Especially with younger people, there's a lot less stigma around being single, even if some still face the pressure of being behind through comparison culture online. They might face criticism, but they also live authentically without having to consider or worry about a partner.
6. Staying together for the kids
Many people stay in toxic relationships for the "sake of the children," not realizing that they often do more harm modeling a relationship for their kids without basic love and trust. They argue or avoid each other to cope with the pressure to stay together, but that's exactly the kind of behavior their children take into dating and relationships when they grow up.
That's why Gen Zers, often tapped into mental health conversations and personal empowerment discussions, reject this pressure to avoid divorce. If they're in the wrong relationship, they're not afraid to step outside the expectations or the social pressure and do what's right for them.
7. Men not doing any emotional labor
With conversations about traditional relationships comes traditional norms. In the eyes of our patriarchal society, being "masculine men" means not expressing complex emotions and not being vulnerable. It means suppressing your feelings to protect and provide, even if it comes at everyone's expense.
While older generations often still face mental health stigma that makes it hard for them to express themselves and ask for help, Gen Zers are reshaping their relationship expectations emotionally. They expect to have hard conversations and to speak with their partner about vulnerable topics. They need emotional openness, even when it's not necessarily a societally accepted idea.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
