Women Who Can Spot A Man’s True Intentions Listen Closely For 13 Casual Phrases
Andrii Nekrasov | ShutterstockAs much as guys talk about women being "crazy," sometimes men are the ones who portray themselves in this way. Many of them also tend to be way poorer at hiding their true nature than women are.
Avoiding emotionally unhealthy guys is crucial, and thankfully, it’s pretty easy to see which men aren’t exactly the healthiest options out there. You can do it by paying attention to what they say and spotting the phrases that reveal his true intentions—which are rarely good ones.
Women who know how to spot a man’s true intentions listen for these phrases:
1. 'You’re not like most girls, you’re actually cool'
Any time you hear a guy talking smack about the entire female gender, you can guarantee that he’s got a bitter, poisonous, and toxic mindset. It may also indicate that he's a misogynist. Simply put, healthy guys don’t generalize like that and definitely don’t have that much bitterness.
2. 'I don’t actually believe women feel love'
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This is one of those phrases I’ve said about men, but I can acknowledge that it’s not something healthy to say. I’ve felt the same way about men for a long time. I’m still not 100% sure they're capable of love, simply because of the abuse and abandonment I’ve faced. However, I also realize I’m not in the best emotional state due to dating-related PTSD.
PTSD will make a partner paranoid, needy, and, at times, act like they have Borderline Personality Disorder, and that can make them very hard to date, if not downright terrible partners. Many abusers, too, will say this to try to entice women into trying to “fix them” and prove that they can love.
No matter how you look at it, no emotionally healthy person will say this, so it might be best to skip them.
3. 'Come on, just give me a fair chance. I’m a nice guy...'
If you’ve dated this century, you’ve heard men like this whine about how dating isn’t fair. People who believe in being “given a chance” are people who don’t understand how dating works, and tend to see women as objects rather than actual human beings. That said, nice people don’t have to announce they are nice; people will quickly notice.
4. 'I’m an alpha male'
This is a really outdated way of seeing wolf society, and in real wolf packs, there is no “alpha male.” That aside, men who say this tend to have confidence issues with a streak of controlling and misogynistic behavior. They use the word “alpha” to rationalize treating others poorly and as a crutch for confidence. This misogynistic outlook isn’t something a healthy man will have.
5. 'I drove all this way and paid for dinner. You owe me'
This shows what psychologists call “aggrieved entitlement.” Aggrieved entitlement occurs when people think they’re entitled to things that they actually have no right to, and in the case of dating, often signals that they will become abusive: mentally, physically, or emotionally.
The scariest part is that guys who think this way don't see anything wrong with it, because they literally think they deserve it. Yeah, you don’t want to date this kind of person.
6. 'Women are so sensitive'
This is one of the major signs he's not emotionally healthy, because emotionally healthy people realize they need to consider other people’s feelings. If he can’t do that, then he can’t be a healthy partner. If a man says something like this to you, it also shows that he may lack empathy, which is often a sign of personality disorders like narcissism and psychopathy.
7. 'Feminism is a disease'
A guy who can’t stand the idea of equal rights for women isn’t someone who has a healthy outlook on dating. And this also isn't someone who respects others, especially women in general. Simply put, there’s no point in trying to establish a partnership with someone who doesn’t see you as worthy of having rights or autonomy.
8. 'Women only want men for their money or their looks'
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Once again, this shows bitterness, misogyny, and unhealthy outlooks toward women. It's toxic, and it's not a trait you should seek out in men when navigating the dating world. Don't try to fix men like this; the only person you can change is yourself.
9. 'I have rage/substance/abuse issues'
Good on him for admitting it, but if this is the case, he’s not emotionally healthy. Just because he admits something is wrong with him doesn’t mean he’s healthy. In fact, consider it a warning sign that a future with this person will not pan out in a positive way. Instead, it's best to stay away.
10. 'Wait, you’ve had other partners before me? How am I supposed to deal with that?'
From personal experience, any guy who prefers a ridiculously low partner count has issues dealing with their insecurities. Plus, it's nobody's business, and they aren't entitled to that personal information. A healthy person has enough confidence to realize numbers don’t matter and that their insecurity is their burden to deal with, not yours.
11. 'I don’t play games'
I’ve never seen anyone who said this actually be worth the time. If you feel like dating games are the only way to get ahead in love, you’re probably not that emotionally healthy. And if a guy says this to you, think about what he actually means by it.
12. 'My ex is the worst'
Look, I’ve been there. I know how it feels to be so hurt by people that you just need to vent to a date. I understand this. However, I’d be lying if I said that this is something emotionally healthy people do.
It’s okay to not be over an ex. What’s not okay is dating them and hoping you can fill that space. Emotionally well people don’t do this, and if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you need to realize this never bodes well for the partner you're venting to.
13. 'Dump your boyfriend for me'
This phrase is literally selfishness, personified. Do I really have to explain why a healthy person wouldn't say this to you? Hopefully not.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
