Couples Who Get Through Hard Times Without Breaking Up Almost Always Follow 5 Psychological Laws
Dragana Gordic | ShutterstockWhile some may consider these psychological laws secret tools of the trade, anyone can use them to help create a healthy relationship that truly stands the test of time. One of these core principles is hypnotic suggestibility.
In relationships, suggestibility refers to the degree of influence one is open to accepting or receiving from one’s partner. Suggestibility plays a crucial role in shaping relationship dynamics for better or worse, and the five laws of suggestibility can help couples build stronger bonds, helping them stay together no matter the struggles they face.
The psychological laws of suggestibility that couples who stay together through hard times follow:
1. The Law of Association: Share positive experiences to build positive associations
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The law of association states that ideas, feelings, and behaviors that occur together become linked in our minds. This powerful law has significant implications for relationships.
When couples consistently engage in pleasant activities, share jokes, have intellectually stimulating conversations, support each other through difficult times, and show affection, these positive interactions become associated with the partner. As a result, just that person’s presence can elicit warm, loving feelings and memories.
Conversely, if a couple frequently argues, criticizes, stonewalls, or ignores each other’s needs, those experiences become associated with the partner, so seeing them evokes more negative reactions. To harness this law of suggestibility, consciously build positive shared experiences.
Take ballroom dancing classes, cook intimate dinners together, travel to new places, and make each other laugh. When you infuse your time with novel, rewarding interactions, your brain forges beneficial neural associations that can sustain love.
2. The Law of Repetition: Create routines that reinforce healthy, loving feelings
This law holds that the more consistently an idea or action is repeated, the more ingrained it becomes in our minds and habits. In relationships, repetition can powerfully reinforce positive or negative patterns. Displaying affection, listening attentively, apologizing after arguments, and sharing chores are healthy behaviors that become automatic through repetition. Making these actions routine strengthens intimacy and satisfaction.
However, repetition can also perpetuate destructive communication and behaviors like criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling during conflict. These patterns get encoded as habitual responses that are difficult to break.
To leverage repetition for good, you will identify beneficial practices to integrate into your partnership. Then, deliberately and consistently apply them. You want to be mindful of unhealthy repetitive dynamics and interrupt those patterns before they become entrenched.
3. The Law of Dominance: Prevent negative traits from overshadowing positive ones
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This law states that dominant thoughts, beliefs, and actions tend to overshadow weaker traits and behaviors. A partner’s strongly dominant personality traits can profoundly shape relationship dynamics. For instance, if one partner consistently dominates decision-making without considering the other’s input, feelings of inequality and resentment may arise. Or a highly critical partner’s viewpoint can dominate and dictate the relationship's emotional tone.
However, understanding this law provides an opportunity. A couple can prevent dominant-negative traits from overtaking their partnership by intentionally adopting a stance of equality, mutual respect, and shared power. Each partner should feel heard, valued, and involved in choices that affect them both. Maintaining mindfulness about dominant tendencies and balance of influence fosters cooperation and satisfaction.
4. The Law of Reverse Action: Allow growth to unfold naturally, rather than forcing it
Also called the law of reversed effort, this law suggests that forcing outcomes tends to backfire, leading to the opposite of the desired result. In relationships, pressuring partners to change or behave a certain way can breed resistance and emotional distance.
Partners may think, “The more they push me, the less I want to do it.” A softer, more understanding approach is often more effective.
This law does not mean abandoning efforts for positive growth. But it highlights the importance of patience and letting relationships unfold organically. Try to create an open, supportive environment for mutual growth. Rather than criticizing flaws or resisting your partner’s ideas, seek first to understand their perspective. Work together collaboratively to address issues. Avoid ultimatums. The law of reverse action reminds us relationships require gentle cultivation, not control.
5. The Law of Delayed Action: Allow challenges to grow your bond
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This law holds that change and growth manifest their full effects slowly over time. In relationships, the most vital connections are built gradually through consistent caring actions day after day, month after month. Partners must weather difficult seasons together to ripen the fruits of devotion fully. Each conflict resolved and joy shared strengthens bonds exponentially. But the relationship withers if dedication wavers at the first sign of trouble.
Understanding this law compounds the importance of commitment, perseverance, and patience in cultivating lasting love. Partners shouldn’t expect transformation overnight; change comes through steady effort. During hard times, recalling previous growth can rekindle motivation.
Meaningful connections are the goal.
Meaningful connections are tricky to make whether casually dating, in a long-term relationship, or somewhere between. However, hypnotic suggestibility can enhance relationships when applied mindfully.
Suggestibility plays a crucial role in shaping relationship dynamics for better or worse. When an individual is receptive to their environment and open to accepting and receiving mindful suggestions from their partner, it enhances the relationship.
Deliberately applying the laws of suggestibility with care, mindfulness, and mutual respect nurtures healthy bonds characterized by trust, equality, and enduring fulfillment.
Niki Payne is a clinical hypnotherapist and relationship coach. She aims to help high-achievers experience better health, greater wealth, and stronger relationships.
