People Who Feel Fulfilled By Relationships Rather Than Drained Usually Do One Thing Very Well
fauxels | PexelsThe most important part of being human is cherishing and nurturing the relationships in our lives. The connection we build not just with family and friends, but romantic relationships, helps us get through hard times. We feel supported and it brings us a sense of joy.
But it's also important to pour that love we feel back into our relationships. According to content creator AJ Dronkers, there's something vital that people need to start doing in their relationships to make sure they're as fulfilling and loving as possible.
There's one simple thing people can do to feel fulfilled by their relationships, rather than drained.
Dronkers explained that a research study indicated that "long-term friendships, long-term relationships, [and] family dynamics succeeded" if people were excited about the things that the other people are excited about.
It turns out that prioritizing the happiness of those we love by getting excited about their interests improves our relationships, and likely also brings us joy, too.
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The study, which was published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, suggests that our own happiness, in large part, is influenced by the generosity and kindness we show to others.
Researchers Liudmila Titova and Kennon Sheldon explained that people are usually "guaranteed the right to 'pursue happiness' for themselves," but they questioned if they would be better off pursuing happiness for others.
"We compared the two strategies, showing that, ironically, the second pursuit brings more personal happiness than the first. The results of these studies extend findings from previous research by showing that people derive boosted personal happiness from attempts to make other people happy, an approach that might seem counterintuitive for a lot of people at first," they revealed.
Although not a foreign concept, it's noteworthy that when we show interest in the things our loved ones value and enjoy, it's reflected back at us. In the simplest terms, prioritizing the joy in others reflects back on us.
To test the research, he applied the concept to his mom's happiness.
Dronkers continued to explain that for his mom's birthday, he made sure to ask what she was excited about and if there was anything she wanted to do to celebrate. Despite being unemployed and working on a budget, he still wanted to make sure his mom had a special day.
She suggested they go for a walk on the beach, and during it, Dronkers asked his mom if she wanted anything in particular for lunch. They went to a shop his mom loves, and afterwards, went home to watch TV together, an activity his mom adores.
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That's where the real test became important. As Dronkers revealed, "It's approaching dinner and she's like trying not to take up space and not ask for too much... and I was like, 'No, what are you craving?' She was like, 'Meatballs.' I was like, 'Alright, I'm going to get you your favorite meatballs from your favorite place.'"
So, that's what he did. He went and got his mom her favorite meal from her favorite place, all because it's what she wanted most. He was genuinely excited about the things she gets excited about.
As he concluded, "The least we can do for the people we love is be excited about the things that they love."
We can all learn a thing or two from this research. When we take the time to do the things our loved ones enjoy, and genuinely feel happy alongside them, it strengthens our relationships.
It really doesn't take much to let the people in your life know that you care about them and appreciate them. Our loved ones don't need grand gestures to see how deep our love is.
Even if it's something simple like a walk on the beach or eating a meal together, you never know how much gratitude someone in your life will have for being on the receiving end of a thoughtful gesture.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
