Smart Happy Couples Steal These 9 Old-Fashioned Courtship Ideas From Grandma's Playbook
gaiamoments | CanvaWe’ve all read about the over-the-top gestures people who have too much money make to say "I love you." Boyfriends proposing on jumbotrons or hiring planes to trail banners. Partners planning exotic vacations that require a personal jet or dinners in restaurants that don't even take reservations. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of that; it's just ... a lot.
So, what do you do if you, like the rest of us average folks trying to afford gas, don’t have the resources to wow your loved one with a headline-grabbing stunt? Why not try a sincere, old-fashioned — and most importantly, —— approach? That's what our Grandparents did, and they've got decades of marriage under their belts, so they must be doing something right.
Here are old-fashioned courtship ideas from grandma's playbook that happy couples are stealing:
1. Make a card
Do you remember making Valentine's cards for your crush (or for some of us less bold, our parents) in elementary school? Your mom loved them, didn’t she? Maybe she still has them taped to her refrigerator.
Your sweetheart will treasure a handmade card. Craft stores have lots of supplies for making papercrafts, and you can do a Pinterest search for a ton of inventive ideas. A trip to the craft store, plus an hour or so of TLC, and you have created a personalized token of your love that you can't find in any Target card aisle.
2. Give her a locket
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Is the woman you love a Jane Austen fan or a hopeless romantic? Consider giving her a locket with your picture in it. Add a lock of your hair for extra effect. Lockets don’t have to be expensive. They’re easy to find on Amazon, Etsy, or eBay. And, you’ll both feel good knowing she keeps you close to her heart, literally.
3. Write a poem
It can be free form, or you can write a sonnet or a haiku. There are plenty of online resources for writing poetry. (Yes, it’s the thought that counts; we know you're not Edgar Allen Poe.) If you love the idea but really don’t believe you have the talent, handwriting an already-written poem or having it printed out is a great idea, too.
Pablo Neruda and Rumi have some great poems about love. Or Google a topic like "romantic poems." Find some pictures on Google images. Print it out on nice paper. Bonus if you frame it. Voila! You have created another memento to be treasured forever.
4. Bring her dandelions
Technically, they’re weeds. But, for 6-year-old boys, they are an expression of love ... or at least, like. Considering the yikes cost of flowers these days, give the person you love a dandelion bouquet tied with a pretty ribbon instead. Wildflowers work, too, if they’re legal to pick. Don’t forget, some men like getting flowers too! It’s the gesture, not the gift.
5. If you’re musical, write a song
You can write the music yourself if you have the ability. Or, take a tune you know and write your own lyrics. You can perform it live in a romantic setting or record it so your love interest can listen to it over and over. When you love each other, being pitch-perfect doesn’t matter. Again, it's all about the gesture — we know you're not Jonathan Groff (who is?) — give it your best college try.
6. Read a book together
Take turns reading chapters aloud. Pick something romantic like Captain Corelli’s Mandolin or a Jane Austin novel. Or pick a fiction bestseller like Truly Madly Guiltyby Liane Moriarty or The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney.
The book-tracking website, Goodreads, has great lists for every genre. Find a quiet, cozy place. Have some cocoa (if it's winter), lemonade (if it's summer), or a glass of wine (if it's Tuesday). Snuggle up and enjoy.
7. Whip up something sweet
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Almost everyone likes a sweet treat. It’s even better when it’s made for you by the person who makes your life sweeter every day.
Cookies, brownies, and chocolate-dipped strawberries, there are no bad options here. If you want to go grand, make a treat to be shared at the office. Let them share with the world that they are loved by you.
8. Leave love notes
Leave these in little places to be discovered spontaneously. Under a pillow. In a lunch bag. Tucked in a wallet or briefcase. Typed into a screensaver. On their bathroom mirror. Remind them of how much they’re loved, in little ways. Or, write a love letter — not by text or email, but by hand on a physical piece of stationery. Want to wow? Plan a special dinner and exchange love letters.
9. Take them out on romantic outings
Picnics. Candlelit dinners. Walks in the woods or along the shore. A rowboat ride, a bike ride. Dancing in the moonlight. A visit to a museum to see the Renoirs. Victorian novels are full of ideas for romantic outings.
These old-fashioned ideas are beautiful because of their simplicity. They are heartfelt and authentic. And the best part: most of them are free or pretty close to it.
Grandma nd Grandpa knew that real love is not measured in dollars spent, but by old-fashioned love and attention invested in doing something special for the one you love (which really shouldn't be an old-fashioned concept at all.) The human species has been doing it for thousands of years. As Emma, a Jane Austen character, said in a novel of the same name, "There is no charm equal to tenderness of the heart."
Gretchen Martens is an author, speaker, coach, and happiness expert. Her methods draw from three decades of eclectic experience as an anthropologist, an ontological coach, an experiential educator, and as an improvisational comedy performer.
