The Ideal Age To Get Married, According To Research
HELGY | CanvaIs there really an ideal age to get married?
Science may not be able to tell you exactly when you should walk down the aisle, but research can give us a pretty interesting place to start. Tying the knot is a big step, and timing is one of the biggest questions people have, especially when they feel pressure from family, friends, culture, or that annoying little voice saying they're falling behind. Working together to determine the best age to get married, math and relationship experts have pointed to several answers, including 26, the late 20s, and the early 30s, thanks to what they call the "37 percent" rule.
The ideal age to get married, according to research
Nahimi Aparicio / Unsplash
According to this algorithm, the perfect age to get married is 26.
How does the national average compare to this? According to statistics, the median age for American women to get married is 28, and 30 for men.
There you have it. Now, you no longer have to fumble around wondering if it's now or never. Getting hitched at 26 is ideal. The number comes from the book Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions, written by journalist Brian Christian and cognitive scientist Tom Griffiths. According to their book, people make the best decisions after screening 37 percent of the options.
They use the example of screening job applicants and argue that after reviewing 37 percent of applicants, it would make sense to choose a qualified candidate without looking any further. The authors of the study say that at this point the reviewers of the applicants have enough information to make a good choice, but not so much that they become weighed down by indecision.
This duo goes even further, saying that this rule works for picking out a partner.
The age range during which people typically look for love is between 18 and 40, and the 37 percent mark is, you guessed it, 26.
It's after this that the quality of the options starts to decline.
However, many experts seem to agree that the late 20s is the sweet spot for getting married. Psychologist Wyatt Fisher says that this time in your life is so ideal for settling down because you have already completed your education and started a career. Clinical social worker Kelsey Torgerson says it's crucial to wait at least until the human brain is fully developed before finding a life mate, which isn't until age 25.
She says, "I believe it's best to wait until this marker. It's also important to experience stressors with your partner and overcome them together, so if you have a high school sweetheart, you should see how you two handle college, long-distance, studying abroad, or getting two jobs. You want to know that you have the conflict management strategies in place for a healthy, successful marriage down the road."
However, relationship therapist Weena Cullins thinks the magic number is 28.
As she explains, "In my clinical experience, I've found that the best age to get married for women in the U.S. is 28. At age 28, my soon-to-be brides exhibit self-awareness and confidence in their choice of a mate. Most 28-year-olds have had time to explore who they are on a personal and professional level, discover the qualities they most desire in a life partner, and learn from mistakes they made in previous relationships. You've had time to get settled in a career, experience college, and graduate school if that's your preferred path, or simply live independently before combining your life."
And for men, Cullins thinks the magic number is 32.
"Waiting until age 32 affords men an opportunity to get settled into a career and potentially pursue professional advancement before tying the knot. It also allows them to develop socially and emotionally through living on their own and dating. By 32, many men have spent enough time on the social scene to make an informed decision about entering married life. They also tend to have a sober perspective about having children and their role in co-parenting. This benefits the overall health of the relationship."
But if you're 25 and still single, don't freak out.
Likewise, if you're 36 and still single, don't lose hope. While this whole thing seems pretty legit when backed by science and math, there is still no sure way to know the secret age for a successful marriage.
Statistics from the Pew Research Center show that fewer people are getting married than ever before. It's all relative, folks, but it still doesn't hurt to have something on to base this wide and confusing world of love.
Shannon Ullman is a freelance writer and journalist and has worked as an editor for Healthline, Medical News Today, and Psych Central. Her writer bylines can be found on Health, Verywell Fit, Insider Inc., Mind Body Green, and Everyday Health.
