Husbands Who Truly Love Being Married Do These 11 Things All The Time
ccrespo | PexelsWe call it "dropping the bomb" syndrome, and it usually follows the same pattern: One partner believes everything is going along fine when suddenly, the other spouse announces the marriage is over: finished, done, period. It turns out things were far from fine. There was a lot of denial going on, a lot of saying "yes" when you meant "no," and a lot of unexpressed anger simmering just below the surface. When that simmer reaches a boil, the bomb drops.
While women initiate divorce more often than men, I find that husbands are more likely to walk out and end things unexpectedly, leaving their wives in shock, disbelief, and anger at being left. The resulting collateral damage to children and extended family only widens the circle of pain. How can you really know if your husband is happily married? Is there a way to tell if your marriage is bomb-proof? When he says "I love you," can you believe it? Husbands who genuinely love being married do a few thing differently.
Husbands who love being married do these things all the time:
1. He feels noticed and appreciated
Research shows that men want to feel appreciated, and how much they do (or don't) is a prime measure of how happily married they are.
2. He confides in you
He knows he can confide in you without being judged or criticized. This kind of self-disclosing communication is crucially important because it builds trust and commitment.
3. He feels attractive to you
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He knows that you desire him because you express that desire intimately. No matter how much a man enjoys intimacy, it's a turnoff to feel like he's the only one interested.
4. He likes how he feels about himself
Your affectionate attention outside of the bedroom (compliments, praise, hugs, warm touches, saying "I love you") makes him feel good about himself and endears you to him.
5. He respects your boundaries
He knows you will not tolerate bad behavior on his part. He knows your love is real and respects you because he knows your love is not based on submissive compliance.
6. He feels needed
He likes that you need him, but that you aren't needy. Relying on each other is a part of a healthy relationship, but being needy or overly dependent creates control and the desire to flee from it.
7. He feels respected and admired by you
Love and respect go hand in hand. Feeling admired by the one you love enhances self-esteem; it renews both intimate and emotional passion between you two.
8. He doesn't feel belittled or humiliated by you
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When you are angry and don't resort to personal attacks, he feels safe and open to hearing your reasons for being upset.
9. He trusts you to let go of the past
You don't hold grudges, keep score, or consistently feel victimized by life. This makes your marriage flexible rather than rigid, exciting rather than dull, and open to a future of growing together.
10. He knows that he's a top priority in your life
Your husband wants to know he's important to you. He's comfortable taking a backseat to all you do, and he's confident that when he seriously needs you, you'll be there for him 100%.
11. He appreciates the family you've built
He appreciates your kindness to his family. No one gets to choose their family, and many have problems. When you make a genuine effort to accept him, he feels respected and valued by you.
Evelyn and Paul Moschetta are marriage counselors, therapists, and workshop leaders who have written many books dealing with marriage, including The Marriage Spirit.
