Mentally & Emotionally Attractive People Usually Have 7 Habits That Make Others Want To Get Close To Them
Look Studio | ShutterstockBeing attractive isn't just about looks. It's about having magnetic habits that make other people want to be around you and get to know you better.
Years of awkwardly bumbling through social situations and saying dumb stuff have prompted me to take a keen interest in human behavior. When it comes to attractive people, what they think and how they behave matters almost as much as their appearance.
Habits the most mentally and emotionally attractive people have that draw others to them:
1. They are amazing listeners
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When you watch people in conversation, if you happen to be eavesdropping, most people aren't listening. They are just kind of listening. But, most of all, they are thinking about the next thing to say, either because they like the sound of their voice or because they are trying to be impressive. Neither is particularly attractive.
People who occasionally repeat what's been said, or really put in the effort to listen deeply and show it, set themselves apart.
Active listening creates a stronger sense of connection. Often, this interaction is unforgettable for the speaker, who feels more heard than anyone they’ve ever met.
2. They are unattached to outcomes
This is another way of saying don’t be needy. Being attached to things working out in a certain way, with a specific result, just the way you want it is precisely what neediness is. Neediness is rarely not creepy because it indicates you have few options in your life. People are attracted to people with choices.
If you react with disappointment to a rejected request or visibly rely on someone’s agreement, you signal uptightness and neediness that is unattractive. Let go of the need for anything to be a certain way. Create options for yourself and show that you need nothing, even if you want it.
3. They understand how to lightly tease while flirting
Most people try to be nice and avoid rocking the boat or causing offense. Most people are too intent on being liked to try anything as far out as teasing. But light, appropriate teasing after you’ve gotten to know someone a little demonstrates comfort in your own skin.
Frightened people who overemphasize their sense of self never tease. So teasing is a fun, playful act that shows confidence and a willingness to lose if you cause offense. This is attractive.
4. They never overshare
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Especially if you’re a man, saying less isn’t anti-social unless you say nothing. Withholding on talking often creates more room for the other person to talk, which subtly puts them lower on the social hierarchy.
I’m sorry, I don’t make up the rules, and this isn’t a hard-and-fast rule. Talking more creates the perception that you are a little more on edge and out of control. Nuances here, obviously.
Also, when we talk less, we don’t reveal everything, likely creating unanswered intrigue. Do you think being intriguing is unattractive or not?
5. They aren't afraid to have an opinion
Like teasing, being vocal about what most people aren't saying is edgy. You are opening yourself up to criticism when you venture into topics of discussion that few dare to touch.
I’m not talking about opening up a can of worms around inappropriate and hugely controversial issues.
There is always a grey area surrounding polite social conversation. Attractive people tend to go to those edges, be it innuendo, a little more bluntness than is expected, revealing one’s flaws, and so on. This sets them apart. It is brave and will often be polarising and draw certain people to you in powerful ways.
6. They are generous without expectation
Here’s why self-proclaimed nice guys, for example, often grow to be resentful and tired of being disrespected, despite spending their entire lives relentlessly giving: they give with expectation.
They feign niceness as part of their strategy for getting things they want. But the people around them feel it in their gut and respond accordingly. Giving without expecting anything in return will bring you relief and endless rewards. It is also rare and thus attractive.
7. They move through life at a slightly slower pace
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If you can speak, move, and respond a little slower than those around you, this sends a signal. You are not as rushed. You are a little calmer. You have that little extra faith that things will be ok. This is a high-status trait. You are the lion who rushes for no one.
This kind of behavior is mysterious and may raise interesting internal questions. Why is this person so chill? Questions and mystery lead to … you guessed it … attraction.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
