7 Disturbingly Effective Tactics Red Pill Men Use To Manipulate Women
PeopleImages | Shutterstock“Remember, women are children: mentally, behaviorally, evolutionarily. They are not like us. They don’t think like us, or have the same deep sense of personal responsibility.”
That’s a direct quote from a widely referenced Red Pill dating manual on an online forum. It’s called HumanSockPuppet’s Guide to Managing Your Bs (we know what B stands for), and it informs men that “unless you are strict with your girl, she will become as selfish and insufferable as you let her get away with.”
Cool. Cool cool cool.
I’ve written about the Man-o-sphere before, but usually from an external perspective: I use studies, statistics, and historical research to examine its impact on modern men and women.
This time, I dug through the source material: the online forums, the coaching videos, the blogs, and the dating manuals, to find out which tactics these men use on women, and how they justify their behavior.
I have a pretty strong stomach, but reading through this stuff had a physiological effect on me. I actually felt nauseous.
If you’re not familiar, the Manosphere is a misogynistic corner of the internet where men believe in an ideology called “The Red Pill.” The phrase originated in the movie The Matrix, where the protagonist Neo chooses the red pill to learn the truth about his reality.
Red Pill men believe that society is gynocentric (favoring women) and that feminism has systematically disadvantaged men. In order to regain the upper hand, guys need to gamify dating, establishing themselves as “high value men,” treating women like commodities, and remaining as emotionally unavailable as possible.
Here are the disturbing tactics Red Pill men use to manipulate women:
1. They reduce you to a number
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In Red Pill spaces, the term “S**ual Market Value” (SMV) is everywhere. In addition to determining their own SMV, men rate women out of ten. They use this number to calculate whether they’re punching above their weight, or whether a woman is worth trying to sleep with.
Why should women be reduced to a number? Because “AWALT.”
AWALT is a Red Pill acronym that means “all women are like that.” According to these dudes, all women lie. All women are naturally submissive. All women are shallow and hypergamous, only interested in dating men who are hotter, richer, and taller.
All women will screw you over if given the chance. All women are like children: emotionally immature and easy to manipulate.
2. They always have a backup ready to go
Redpillers call this “spinning plates.” Essentially, they keep multiple women in rotation at all times, each one a “plate” that can be swapped out for another out of boredom or punishment.
Rollo Tomassi, sometimes called the “Godfather of the Red Pill,” popularized the plate theory on his Manosphere blog. Tomassi wrote, “In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.”
If a man always has a backup, he’ll never get too attached to one woman, thus maintaining dominance over the situation.
3. They neg you to lower your confidence
In the early 2000s, pickup artist Erik von Markovik popularized the term “neg,” describing it as “a negative social value judgment that is telegraphed.” In other words, it's a backhanded compliment designed to subtly undermine a woman’s confidence so she’ll talk to a man with a lower SMV.
Now, it’s a common tactic among Red Pill men. An online forum called “Art of the Neg” suggests: “Nice nails, are they real?” and “I wish you were brunette. I’m taking a break from blondes for a while.”
This Guide to Effective Negging Techniques also lists:
- “I bet you’re even prettier without so much makeup.”
- “I dig the way you give up fashion for comfort.”
- “Your perfume doesn’t suit you. You should be wearing something that brings out your youthful character.”
- “I bet you were the type of girl who got spaghetti sauce all over her face.”
4. They embarrass you to test compliance
“Plates” (women) can also be promoted or demoted depending on how compliant they are. If a woman behaves, she’s rewarded with a more permanent spot in the plate-spinning rotation. If she misbehaves, she’s deemed a “pump and dump” (a woman you get with once and never see again).
“You must be uncompromising whenever you punish her,” u/HumanSockPuppet wrote, “until managing women becomes as natural to you as breathing.”
How do you test compliance?
- You intentionally push her boundaries to see how she reacts.
- You cancel a date at the last minute.
- You order for her without asking what she wants to eat.
- You make a “joke” at her expense in front of your friends.
- You tell her to dress up for a fancy date, and then you take her bowling.
5. They make you work for their attention
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This month, one of the top forum thread posts was called “How to keep her hooked forever,” and it advised men to “reward her with attention for good behavior and punish her with ignorance for bad behavior.”
This post likened women to a child who’s allowed to eat junk food whenever they want: “One day he will eat his favorite food, another day, then another; by the end of the week, he will be bored. Eventually, he will start actively choosing to eat food prepared at home because he is so bored of the food. His favorite food will lose all novelty. After a while, he may eat it once in a while, but he will never value this food as much as he would have before.
The food never changed, only its availability changed. The kid is the woman; the food is your attention. The only way she is going to value your attention is if she enjoys it and it’s not easily available.”
6. They shut down when you challenge them
This is one of the cornerstones of Redpill ideology. It’s called “holding frame,” or remaining dominant, superior, and detached, especially when a woman is being too “emotional” or “demanding.”
Psychology calls it something different: stonewalling.
Stonewalling is a control tactic in which someone shuts down completely and refuses to interact or cooperate. They may stare, give one-word responses, or leave the room mid-conversation. This makes healthy communication and conflict resolution nearly impossible.
It’s also something that abusers use to avoid accountability and maintain control. A 2023 study of 1,255 narcissistic abuse survivors found that 93.2% of them experienced stonewalling, right alongside gaslighting and love-bombing.
7. They purposely make you feel disposable
If you end up in a relationship with one of these guys, they’ll perpetually make you feel like you’re not good enough. You’re replaceable. They’ve got other options. At any point, they could walk away and find someone better.
It’s called Dread Game. He may compare you to an ex, point out other women he finds attractive, or manufacture jealousy by placing his attention elsewhere.
According to a qualitative study of Dread Game tactics, this is “a form of psychological manipulation where one partner uses emotionally and psychologically abusive tactics to cause the other partner distress so they will be more inclined not to leave the relationship.”
It leverages the same principle behind slot machines. Supposedly, uncertainty is more intriguing than security, so they’re trying to get women addicted to the push-and-pull.
But there’s one major issue with treating relationships like a game: Once women realize they’re in one, they can simply decide to stop playing.
Maria Cassano is a writer, editor, and journalist whose work has appeared in HuffPost, NBC, Bustle, CNN, The Daily Beast, Food & Wine, and USA Today, among others.
