Men With Zero Empathy Usually Say 10 Phrases To Their Wives On A Regular Basis
Jan Kopřiva | PexelsA lack of empathy sabotages relationships, even in the most ordinary parts of everyday life. It also undermines love and affection, at least according to a 2024 study.
Men with no empathy aren't considerate or respectful towards their wives. They say all kinds of destructive things on a regular basis, compensating for the integrity they don't have.
The phrasrs men with no empathy say to their wives quite often:
1. 'I don't get why you're so upset'
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Good partners express their own emotions openly, while creating safe spaces so their spouse can do the same. Unfortunately, if a man lacks empathy, he does the opposite. Even when his partner is hurt by things he's done, he'll dismiss and invalidate her.
"I don't get why you're so upset" or "you're making a big deal out of nothing" are everyday phrases for these kinds of toxic men. They can't put themselves in another person's shoes, but even when he knows he's done something wrong, he'll try to justify the behavior through gaslighting phrases like these.
2. 'Can we not do this right now?'
When he needs something, a man with no empathy expects his partner to completely drop everything in his favor. But when the roles are reversed and his wife needs something or has an issue, it's always "Can we not do this right now?" or "I don't have time for this."
Even with pressing issues and hurt feelings, he clearly doesn't care how his partner feels, unless he's getting some kind of positive attention for doing so. His image and personal comfort always come first, hence this passive, avoidant mentality.
3. 'That's your own fault'
Shifting blame onto his partner is how a man with zero empathy gets out of apologizing or taking accountability for his own actions. Someone else's hurt feelings are their own problem, even when they come from his mistakes and cruelty. This kind of mentality is incredibly destructive.
These men who lack compassion end up pushing their partners away, but they also reward emotional suppression that ultimately comes at the expense of their partner's well-being and health. They refuse to apologize when they've done something wrong, and they make their wives feel terrible for being open about how it makes them feel.
4. 'It's just a joke'
When someone uses a phrase like this to excuse their bad behavior, they're trying to avoid responsibility for their actions. It's never "just a joke," but when they pretend like harmful name-calling and cruelty are all in the name of humor, they can gaslight someone into suppressing it and avoiding an argument.
They refuse to believe that their own misbehavior is something they need to own up to, largely because they don't have the empathy to understand how it hurts their partner and loved ones. They make their wives feel too sensitive and emotional when they stand up for themselves, so it's easier to take advantage.
5. 'You're an adult'
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The best relationships are when two people can work through struggles together and support each other, even when life gets hard. But a woman married to a toxic man who has no empathy will feel much lonelier from spending all that time on her own.
Not only is it clear that he cares more about himself than anyone, but he isolates his partner when they do ask for help. "You're an adult" is how he responds to a partner's needs, instead of figuring out how he can make their lives easier or happier.
6. 'Imagine how I feel'
Empathy is what connects and bonds us, especially in relationships. It reminds us that we're not the only people in the world, and that others deserve the time and effort that some only invest in themselves.
A man with little empathy refuses to offer that kind of effort and support to anyone but himself. When a partner is struggling, they don't say "How can I help?" Instead, they say, "Imagine how I feel."
It's always about them, even in scenarios when the best kinds of partners would set their needs aside for a few moments to cultivate a safe space for their wives.
7. 'Just let it go'
For someone with zero empathy, the world is a better place for them when everyone's happy and willing to give them attention. They don't want to have to deal with another person's struggles because it overshadows all their own needs and experiences.
They're the center of their own world, and despite not offering any kind of compassion for others, they expect it from the people in their lives. "Just let it go" is the dismissive and incredibly disrespectful way these men express that. They care more about their own comfort than showing up for someone they're supposed to love unconditionally.
8. 'Nothing I do is ever good enough'
When they can't get out of owning up to their toxic behavior, a man with zero empathy resorts to playing the victim. It's always "nothing I do is ever good enough" instead of "I'm sorry, I did something wrong."
Not only does this invalidate and bulldoze over their partner's emotions, but it discourages them from bringing up their hurt and issues in the future. The relationship shifts to cater toward these men's emotions, instead of building a safe space where everyone can feel seen and supported.
9. 'I didn't mean it'
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An empathetic partner can make space for their spouse's hurt feelings, even when they were the person who caused it. They understand that even though they unintentionally caused them pain, it still has an effect on others.
But when a man has zero empathy, he's destructive with the words he says to his spouse. He refuses to believe that anything he did accidentally or with good intent could hurt someone, because he doesn't put himself in anyone else's shoes.
It's their wife's fault for misunderstanding his intentions or feeling hurt. "I didn't mean it" is classic blame-shifting in action.
10. 'If you say so'
Indifference is a pillar of someone's identity when they lack empathy. They don't consider their partner or care about their feelings, especially when they're in hot water about something.
"If you say so" is how they react when a partner expresses their hurt or wants to talk about problems, instead of being willing to change and apologize. They're sabotaging the kind of communication that a relationship needs to thrive in the small moments where healthy couples come together.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
