Your Body Already Knows When Someone Isn’t Meant For You, But You're Probably Ignoring The Signs On Purpose
rdne | PexelsOur lives are made richer by the people we surround ourselves with, yet sometimes, we outgrow the relationships we’ve made. Still, it can be hard to let go of those people, despite the hurt we might feel when we’re around them.
In moments of doubt, you can "trust your intuitive self" and draw on the combined wisdom of your past experiences and inner knowing, explains life coach Karen Kleinwort. That weird 'off' feeling you get around certain people is more than paranoia, exposing a pattern.
Your body already knows when someone isn't meant for you, but you're probably ignoring the signs on purpose
Influencer Tim Rozgonyi shared on TikTok his wisdom on when to say goodbye to certain people in your life: When you’re meant to walk away from someone, the interactions you have with them will no longer feel fulfilling.
“If you interact with people who aren’t meant for you, if you continue to keep people in your life who should have fallen away or been let go of by now, your interactions will not feel harmonious," he said. "They will feel discordant.”
He believes that people get “attached to the discord,” asking themselves, “Why is this person not responding? Why does it not feel right? Why do I feel a little off after interacting with this person?”
Rozgonyi described that kind of discordant relationship as “a cat [and] mouse game,” emphasizing how easy it is to get tangled up in someone else’s drama. “We get attached to the discord, and we turn it into something to investigate [or] figure out,” he continued.
The feeling that something isn’t right is a sign that someone isn't meant for you, and it's time to let go of the relationship
Rozgonyi offered advice on what to do if you find yourself caught up in that kind of relationship: “Keep it simple.”
“If your interactions with people are leaving you feeling off [or] discordant, honor that. Understand that. Don’t try to figure it out. Just accept the information,” he explained.
He used the metaphor of someone being repeatedly pricked by a thorny plant, saying at some point, we have to accept that we keep being pricked, and stop going back to the plant over and over and expecting a different outcome.
He urged people in discordant relationships to walk away from them, instead of trying to make adjustments. Rozgonyi acknowledged that making slight changes in how you interact might work, at least for a little while, but in doing so, “you end up all contorted.”
“You made all these adjustments to yourself so you could fit into a situation that was never meant for you, that wasn’t right in the first place,” he said.
He noted the stark differences between feeling drained from a relationship and feeling energized by someone
“If you have an interaction with somebody and ... those interactions feel positive, affirming, uplifting [and] in sync … You hang onto that,” he urged.
He summed up his thoughts by reiterating his point: “Focus on the ones where the energy feels good. If there’s discord, walk away.”
In some ways, it feels counterintuitive that we return to relationships that don’t serve us, as doing so creates an emotional turmoil we can easily get stuck in. Yet part of what defines us as humans is that we consistently seek connection.
It makes sense that we don’t want to give up on people, even when the relationship hurts us. Ultimately, we deserve to be surrounded by people who lift us up and who make us feel appreciated and loved, fully, for exactly who we are.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers relationships, pop culture and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
