Woman Says Going Out To Eat With Her Boomer In-Laws Is Demoralizing Because Of How They Treat Restaurant Staff
shvetsa | PexelsGoing out to eat with rude in-laws can ruin the whole meal.
For one woman, dinner with her boomer in-laws has become demoralizing because of the way they treat restaurant staff. As a former waitress, she said she feels embarrassed every time they complain, boss servers around, ignore basic restaurant etiquette, and treat every small inconvenience as a personal insult. Now, she's explaining why these meals leave her mortified, and why so many people have their own stories about boomer restaurant behavior.
The woman explained why going out to eat with her boomer in-laws feels 'demoralizing.'
Sharing her frustrations on an online forum, the woman said that, as a former waitress, going out to eat with her boomer in-laws is an excruciating experience.
"I feel mortally embarrassed when being associated with them in a restaurant," she wrote.
"It all starts with the hostess. The hostess is seating you on a rotation to ensure servers get enough heads. It isn't personal," the woman explained. However, her mother-in-law doesn't seem to understand the seating rotation that restaurant hosts have to follow, and she always makes a fuss about it.
"[She] makes it a point to go, 'Well, why can't we sit over THERE,'" the woman shared. "I chime in and mention that this is just where we need to sit for things to run smoothly. She hates this."
The woman described her mother-in-law as a 'Grand Karen' when it comes to dealing with restaurant staff. "No meal ever tastes good to her, and she sends food back or complains," she wrote.
"She is also so rude to the staff, bosses them around, and does NOT greet them," she continued. "Like, they come over, and she immediately says, 'Yeah, I want this,' and then makes it overly complicated and doesn't want it seasoned."
The woman's father-in-law isn't much better.
"[He] thinks he can chat up the waitresses and feels insulted when they cannot sit down to join us," she shared. "He cracks off-color jokes about wages or mentions how easy it would be to get a job there."
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Research has found that restaurant expectations can vary by generation.
When you think about it simply, it makes sense. Kids, for example, would prefer a Dave & Buster's experience or anywhere that offers video games, plenty of chicken fingers, and the chance to be loud without having to sit the entire time.
The same can be said for everyone from Gen Z to boomers. According to the National Restaurant Association's annual report, older generations tend to prefer a more traditional restaurant experience, while younger diners are often more open to flexible, casual, or new dining formats.
In that sense, it really can be that simple. Maybe that's also the secret to an easier dining experience with boomers: Choose somewhere that caters to their style.
The woman urged other commenters to share their own boomer restaurant horror stories, and they delivered
"I'll never forget the time that my family and I were visiting Florida when I was a teenager. My dad berated this poor server because this particular restaurant didn't give out complimentary bread, then asked for a manager and tore him a new one as well… over free bread," one user commented.
"My wife and I took her father out for a birthday lunch at a nice restaurant with my sister-in-law tagging along. He immediately went off the deep end because we weren't seated the minute we walked in," another commenter wrote. "Then he was causing a stir because the waitress didn't take our drink order yet … we were sitting there for only three minutes, and it was a lunch rush."
"I refuse to go out and eat with my mother," a third user admitted. "Last time we did, it was at a steakhouse. She ordered the ribs. Then she goes on this nasty rant to the waitress about, 'If you even think about bringing me out dry ribs, I will send them right back. Last time I was here, I got dry ribs, and I sent them back, and I will do it again!'"
Some boomers seem to assume that the entire restaurant, and the world, should revolve around them. When something doesn't go as expected, whether there's not enough ice in their drink or they're seated at a table too far from the window, they often take it as a personal attack.
However, many of them fail to understand that restaurant servers, especially during a rush, don't always have the time or ability to handle every request as soon as it's made.
With all the job duties they have to manage, servers are doing their very best to make their customers' experiences good. They are not trying to ruin your life by forgetting to bring you an extra packet of ketchup or seating you at a table instead of a booth.
Just like all of us, servers are human beings first, and they deserve to be treated that way. And if we're being honest with ourselves, many boomers probably wouldn't last a day working the customer service jobs they constantly complain are 'so easy.'
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self-love, and relationships.
