11 Rare Phrases People With Good Upbringings Use Pretty Much Every Day
Photoroyalty | ShutterstockEveryone’s upbringing influences the person they grow into. This is more widely recognized with traumatic childhoods, which can lead to health problems like heart disease and depression. It’s also true for people who had great childhoods that they wouldn’t want to change. They may express it in their actions, but also their words, as there are rare phrases people with good upbringings use pretty much every day to show their gratitude.
This doesn’t undo the ability to evolve, though. Some of the people who have the most difficult childhoods turn into absolutely incredible adults who make the world better. Still, there are benefits that come from having a good upbringing. These people are often raised to be kinder and more polite, so their language is more likely to reflect that, even if they aren’t popular.
Here are 11 rare phrases people with good upbringings use pretty much every day
1. ‘I appreciate you’
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Saying “thank you” is such a standard response that it’s become almost automatic for many people. But taking things a step further and really making sure your gratitude leaves a lasting impression can mean so much.
Intentionally expressing gratitude in this way has been proven to have profound effects on the brain. It can actually ease feelings of stress by boosting serotonin and dopamine levels. If someone was raised right, they know what it’s like to feel appreciated, and they want to share that feeling with others.
2. ‘I’m here if you need help’
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Being willing to do things to help others is incredibly beneficial. In a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers concluded that humans are naturally motivated to be altruistic, and that doing so improves their well-being.
It can be really meaningful when someone frames an offer of assistance in this way, because it lets the other person know they’re right there and available for anything they need. But it also doesn’t force that help onto them in a way that feels even more frustrating. People with good upbringings who had plenty of help in their childhood usually know how to offer it.
3. ‘We’ll work on that’
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It’s always nice when someone says they want to work on something with someone else. A lot of people think it’s easier to just take matters into their own hands, especially if they know a lot about the subject. But that takes away the opportunity to learn from different perspectives and processes.
Benjamin Jones, a strategy professor at the Kellogg School of Management, has studied the power of collaboration extensively. He came to the conclusion that everyone has their own individual areas of expertise, so multiple brains working together brings a greater variety of skills.
Someone who had a good childhood probably never had to rely solely on their own talents to do something, so they know the power of teaming up with others, and they have no problems expressing it.
4. ‘Thanks for saying that’
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In a time when manners aren’t prioritized the way they once were, it can be even more special to take a second to acknowledge someone doing or saying something nice. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology proved that doing this has a cyclical effect. Participants who watched other people show their gratitude wanted to be closer to the person who did that and the person they expressed gratitude to.
It can be difficult to admit that another person did something kind, especially if someone is hyper-independent and feels like they need to do everything themselves. People who had a good upbringing tend to have less of a problem with this because they’re secure enough to know that everyone could use a helping hand from time to time.
5. ‘I could be wrong’
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It’s not easy for people to admit that they’re wrong, or at the very least might be. To make matters worse, some people have had bad experiences with being shamed for mistakes in the past, so they hesitate to own up to something so closely connected to painful memories.
People rarely judge someone who admits they’re wrong, though. They’re more likely to see them as an honest, trustworthy person who’s worth looking up to. Some people had those values instilled in them from a young age, and they would never want people to feel differently about them.
6. ‘You go first’
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Whether someone is letting another person go before them in line, in a conversation, or in a different situation, it shows a level of courtesy and respect that many people have abandoned. Displaying good manners like this can strengthen relationships, but it also helps people with their happiness and self-esteem.
Despite being a small gesture, this signals that someone really cares about other people and values their feelings. That’s the kind of thing someone learns when they have a happy and healthy childhood.
7. ‘Not a problem’
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It’s pretty safe to say that most, if not all, people don’t like making mistakes and realizing they messed up, but this can be even harder for some people to swallow than others. For instance, perfectionists tend to think catastrophically and hold on tightly to control, so the way others react when they mess up really affects them.
Saying something like “not a problem” is a pretty small thing to do, but it reassures the other person and reminds them that no one is mad at them. Instead, everyone can just move on, as they should. It’s the kind of thing people do when they are taught that no mistake is permanent.
8. ‘What’s your opinion?’
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It’s a pretty big deal when someone lets others know that they genuinely care about what they think. It often feels easier to just make decisions on your own without outside input, so reaching out for other people’s opinions goes a long way.
Providing somebody else with positive, constructive input can help them realize all that they’re capable of and take them farther than they ever could have gone on their own. It’s easy to feel embarrassed about doing so when the other person feels like an expert, but if they value your opinion, you should share it.
9. ‘That’s my fault’
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It’s much easier to take responsibility for the good things you do than the things that lead to negative consequences, but someone who was raised right with a good upbringing will understand how important it is to always hold themselves accountable. They know they can’t pick and choose what they take ownership of, and they also know that they owe it to others to live with that kind of integrity.
Someone who admits when something is their fault is willing to own everything they do, so others will know they can count on them. They don’t make a big deal out of it, but they also don’t try to sweep things under the rug and ignore what matters.
10. ‘No rush’
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There is so much kindness in someone letting people know they don’t have to work at the fastest speed possible to make them happy. Feeling rushed can lead to anxiety, which isn’t good for anyone. When someone is given all the time and space they need, they learn to give that to others as well.
Having this kind of patience can boost someone’s health and confidence, but it’s not always easy to develop. Professor Debra R. Comer, who studies organizational socialization and virtuous behaviors, explained that no one is too far gone, though. “Patience is completely something you can grow, and something you need practice to do well,” she said. “Anyone can improve if they try.”
11. ‘I understand what you mean’
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No one can really perfectly understand others at all times, but it is possible to come pretty close. This is thanks to what psychologists call the theory of mind, which is the ability to differentiate between various thoughts and feelings and know that people don’t experience them in the exact same way.
It’s basically a scientific explanation for putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, and it can be really helpful. Making others feel understood demonstrates that someone is willing to see things from their point of view and take their ideas seriously, even if they disagree. It usually means someone else did the same thing for them first.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
