Kids Whose Parents Don't Pay Much Attention To Them Often Say 6 Phrases In Public
Valeriya Popova 22 | ShutterstockParents are supposed to support and care for their children, providing love and attention.
But not all parents give their kids the emotional and physical support they need. When a child has a parent who doesn't pay attention to them, it's easy to spot. That's because these kids will use certain phrases that indicate their parents are blatantly ignoring them.
Phrases kids whose parents don't pay attention to them usually say in public
1. 'Mom! Mom! Mom!'
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When you see a child relentlessly screaming at their parents, calling their name over and over again, most tend to ignore it and maybe even roll their eyes. But if you look a bit closer at the interaction, you might realize that it's a child who is acting out for attention.
Picture this: a child in a shopping cart is screaming "mom, mom, mom" in an annoying fashion, their little hand gripping their mother's sleeve. And the mother? She's focused on trying to figure out what brand of yogurt to purchase, ignoring her child entirely.
To any unsuspecting passerby, this mother is simply doing her best to focus on shopping, but to others, she's intentionally tuning out her child because she doesn't care. Despite the child doing their best to receive their mother's attention, the mother is entirely tuned out.
2. 'Can I have that toy?'
This is a rather common thing for kids to say, but the mood and intention behind it is what you really have to pay attention to. All kids at some point ask for a toy they want, but the way they say it speaks volumes.
A happy, hopeful child will ask for a toy with joy. But a child who is being ignored by their parents will ask the question with hesitance. Their body language might also include a hanging head or clasped hands.
They're not hopeful, they're nervous. A child with parents who don't give them the proper attention will be reluctant to ask for something as simple as a toy, because they're afraid that the answer will be no.
3. 'I don't know'
While "I don't know" is a common phrase people use all the time, neglected children might use it in public. Children might respond with "I don't know" when their parents or even a stranger ask them a question.
But it's not because they're necessarily indecisive, but because they're starving for attention. When a child is saying "I don't know" to even the most basic questions, they're likely used to suppressing their true feelings, especially if their parents constantly invalidate them.
As a result, their emotional detachment has made it hard to trust themselves. So, any decision, no matter how simple, is a challenge.
4. 'You pick'
When a family is sitting down at a restaurant, you might think nothing of a child letting their parents pick what to eat for them. The child might be too little to read the items. Maybe they're in a state of unrest and don't wish to eat at the moment.
But parents who pay attention to their children would read the menu for their child. Attentive parents would give their child a choice of what to eat and ask what they want.
But children who say "you pick" aren't just being indecisive. They're actually kids who are afraid of making a choice their parents perceive as wrong or unacceptable. Instead of being met with emotional outbursts from their parents or a criticism that affects their self-esteem, they people-please to avoid the conflict altogether.
5. 'Are you upset with me?'
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Kids who grow up in neglectful homes often have parents who deprive them of the physical and emotional care they need. Unfortunately, that deprivation alters their brain and behavior, causing damage that lasts well into adulthood.
Without the necessary love and attention from their parents, children come to learn how to spot cues that tell them what their parents are feeling. When they say "Are you upset with me?" it's so they can determine the current mood their parents are in. Then, they can take the steps to avoid an unwanted outcome.
6. 'I'm fine'
When their parents aren't paying attention to them, especially in public, some kids may give up on their effort. They say "I'm fine" because they're trying to mask their true feelings of hurt or rejection. They're also protecting themselves from any negativity from their parents.
Unfortunately, this rejection can lead to self-blame. According to board certified psychiatrist and neurologist Julia Samton, "Children are extremely self-centered — not by choice; by the mere fact that they have no perspective. Without any substantial life experience, they interpret any rejection as their fault."
Parents shouldn't take this phrase at surface value. They must focus on their child's body language or the way they express themselves when they say it. If they're physically not okay, they might just be a child of a parent who doesn't care.
Allison Peterson contributes to YourTango through her works on love, self and relationships.
