People Who Are Incredibly Close With Their Parents Usually Say 11 Almost Embarrassingly Honest Things
Halfpoint | ShutterstockPeople who are incredibly close with their parents aren't afraid to tell them how much they mean to them.
I don't know what I would have done if I weren't gifted the exact parents I had. They helped shape my values, upbringing, and the person I eventually became. No parent is perfect, and even the closest parent-child relationships have their ups and downs, but people who love and appreciate their parents understand that having a strong relationship with them takes more than obligatory phone calls and holiday visits. They see their parents as human beings with their own feelings, struggles, and imperfections, and they make an effort to show them the same love and support they received growing up. For people who are incredibly close to their parents, expressing those feelings comes naturally, even when what they say might feel a little vulnerable.
People who are close to their parents say these 11 embarrassingly honest things:
1. 'I appreciate everything you've done for me'
Parenting can be a thankless job. You are expected to sacrifice yourself to make sure these little humans make it to adulthood, and then you have to hope they still like you. You might often find yourself wondering if anything you did even mattered. If you're lucky, your child will start to understand the value that you bring with maturity and address you with respect, kindness, and consideration.
Children who truly love their parents because they did a good job raising them let them know how much their actions mean to them. They look at them with loving eyes, marveling that this person actually kept them alive for years on end. No one talks about how big a job a mother or father has. That appreciation makes it all worth it.
2. 'Do you need anything?'
Caregivers are so used to being the person that everyone else comes to in their time of need. Because of that, it's easy for people to assume they are okay and never check whether they need anything. That's why this question is so meaningful. There's something incredibly rewarding about having the people you've spent so much of your life caring for turn around and offer that same love and support.
And it's not just because they are offering something. It's the reversal of roles that naturally occurs. The children transition into independent, stable adults who can assist their parents if necessary. They offer support and care without being asked, and now, mom or dad can finally feel assured that someone has their back and they don't have to carry the weight of their world and yours alone.
3. 'Tell me more about that'
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I visited my mom over the past weekend, and we talked a lot. I was under the weather and needed a weekend of re-parenting. We spent most of the time talking. I let her tell me the same stories I'd heard a million times as if they were new to me. I asked questions like I didn't have the answers etched in my brain. I've learned about my mother, and I know that she just likes to have conversations and be heard.
Seniors are being increasingly isolated and ignored more and more as society fails to recognize the value they bring to the world around us. Kids grow into adults with their own families, and visits with their parents become fewer and farther between. But when you really love your parents, you engage in intentional interactions with them, giving them the opportunity to be the center of your attention. You show interest and curiosity in their stories by asking questions. That time is precious and will be treasured when they can no longer share their stories with you.
4. 'Thank you for always being there for me'
Gratitude is a game-changer for mental well-being and relationships. It's linked to increased happiness and other positive emotions, better self-esteem, more optimism, stronger relationships, and increased empathy. A simple "thank you" affirms to the recipient that you noticed what they did for you and that you appreciate it. They know they did not act in vain.
Who better to show our gratitude to than the people who raised us to be who we are today? We don't need epic moments to be grateful. The little things, like calling to check on us, remembering a holiday, giving wise advice, or, in my case, calling the police if I don't answer my phone three times in a row, are things we can give thanks for. At least I know that if someone kidnaps me, they won't get far. A loving child is always appreciative.
5. 'I'm proud of you'
At the end of the day, your mother and father are people, too, and hearing that their children are proud of them can mean more than you realize. Telling someone you're proud of them is a wonderful way to affirm them and can positively impact their self-esteem. Growing up, you needed their approval to know that you were developing in the right direction, and now they need yours.
Children who love their parents often use words of affirmation, such as "I'm proud of you," to regularly validate their parents' accomplishments. For some, it might sound strange to hear a child uplift and empower their elders in this way, but truly loving parents and children know that respect and admiration go both ways and do their best to bring light into each other's lives.
6. 'I'm sorry I put you through that'
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We expect our parents to be an endless supply of forgiveness and grace. We put them through some serious things and oftentimes never apologize for the chaos, turmoil, and stress we have caused. But those of us who really love them learn over time that we owe them an apology, and it's long overdue.
People sometimes struggle to apologize to others due to ego, fear of vulnerability, and a desire to preserve their image. They don't want to admit fault or seem weak. Sometimes, adult children struggle to apologize to their parents because admitting they were wrong can feel especially uncomfortable in a relationship with so much history. But if you want to create an even more loving relationship with your parents, you won't let pride get in the way. You own your mistakes, apologize for misunderstandings, and resolve conflicts respectfully.
7. 'I love you'
It sounds like a no-brainer, but as a parent, there are times when I say "I love you" as my kids and I are getting off the phone, and I get nothing but dead air. My intrusive thoughts lean toward feeling hurt, but then the angel on my other shoulder says it's just kids being kids. Everybody, including parents, wants to be told that they are loved.
When "I love you" is said sincerely and often, it will never get old, especially when it comes from some of the only people you would put your life on the line for. People who deeply love their parents never assume that they know it. They make sure to tell them regularly and back up those words with actions.
8. 'I was thinking of you'
I don't know why, but when someone tells me they've been thinking of me, it automatically makes me feel like I am an important part of their life. A spontaneous call to your parent at just the right time can let them know you haven't forgotten them. You don't just reach out on the expected occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. You enjoy talking to them and show genuine interest.
This conveys an invisible connection to your parent that remains, no matter how far apart you two are. Not only will it lift their spirits and make them feel seen, but they will also know that if they need you, you are just a call away.
9. 'I value your opinion'
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I was recently complaining to my mother about my 14-year-old. I told her sarcastically that in his mind, he is the smartest person in every room. He knows much more than I do and doesn't respect my opinion in the least. She laughed and told me that what goes around comes around, and I am just getting back what I gave her. As a child, I was prepared to fight (verbally) to the death if I didn't agree with something, no matter who said it.
Life has taught me that my parents were right about a lot more things than I ever wanted to admit growing up. They, in fact, knew a lot better than I did, and I should have kept my mouth closed and opened my ears more. Even if they don't agree, children who love and respect their parents acknowledge their perspective. They honor the life experiences their mothers and fathers have had and how those experiences have shaped their views.
10. 'I learned it from you'
I can't be the only person who remembers the commercials where a teenage boy did something wrong, and his dad found out. When the father asked him where he learned to do that thing, the boy said, "You, Dad. I learned it from watching you."
That is the opposite of what I mean when I talk about things a child who loves their parents regularly says to them. Often, this phrase carries a negative connotation, but it can also be a major positive. As life goes on and everyone's emotional intelligence grows, children who have a profound love for their parents begin to appreciate the gifts that were bestowed upon them.
They might have learned discipline, organization, resilience, or other necessary life skills from their caregivers that made their lives better than they ever imagined. They are giving credit where credit is due.
11. 'I want to spend more time with you'
If you have grown into a responsible, empathetic adult, trust me when I say that there is nothing your parents would rather do than spend some quality time with you. While your parents may have more free time as they get older, you might be juggling a busy schedule, a family of your own, and other responsibilities. It's easy to put parents on the back burner when life's obligations take over.
But people make time for what matters to them. If you truly love your parents, you prioritize time with them, knowing that there may come a day when that is no longer an option. Even if you just stop by for a morning cup of coffee or set up a video chat with them, you're showing lasting affection that can keep the relationship strong and reciprocal.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human-interest stories that offer informative, actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
