Mom’s Strict Rule For Her Kids Requires Them To Move Out Within 30 Days Of Turning 18 No Matter What
Bricolage | ShutterstockWith such an unstable global economy to reckon with, a significant portion of adult children have made the tough decision to continue living with or move back in with their parents to save money that would otherwise go to rent.
With how common this is becoming, it can be easy to forget that not everyone has that option. Some parents do not support their children, financially or emotionally, and believe that they should be fully on their own by the time they become adults. One woman who was in this situation shared how it made her and her siblings' lives infinitely harder.
A mom enforced the rule that her kids had to move out of the house within 30 days of turning 18.
Writer Victoria Lemons described one of the greatest challenges of her upbringing on TikTok. “The rule in my mom’s house was 18 and 30,” she explained. “Once you turned 18, you had 30 days to get out.”
She and her siblings all had their own ways of addressing the issue. Lemons’ brother went into the military when he was 17. Lemons herself graduated high school at 17, turned 18 in August, and moved into her first apartment just one month later.
“It was so hard to go to work every day, pay for my own place, all my utilities [with] no guidance. My mother was horrible with money,” she said. “I attempted at the same time to go to college; that didn’t work out at that time. It was too much.”
Lemons said this time in her life was spent in "survival mode" and was "traumatizing" for her. She encouraged other parents to help their kids out if they can, adding, “Some people don’t realize just how much of a difference giving your children some tools, giving them some time, giving them some space to grow, benefits them in the long run."
Lemons felt like her mom 'didn't want to be a parent anymore,' and her children were left to deal with the aftermath.
In a second post, she answered a few questions from followers. She explained that her mother never sought child support from her father, so wanting them to leave had nothing to do with a loss of benefits. Instead, she said, "She just wanted us to get out."
Lemons was only able to afford her own apartment because she began working at age 15 in a desperate attempt to get out of the household as soon as she could. “At 16, I was working two jobs, and I graduated high school at 17, so I just worked, worked, worked,” she said.
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She also detailed how out of place she felt in the house that should have been home in another video. "I never felt like my mom's house was home," she said. "It wasn't home. It was the house we lived in."
Lemons takes pride in now being able to break that cycle of trauma for her own children. "My children have a home," she declared, explaining that she and her husband bought a seven-bedroom home with the thought that there would always be room for family, including their now-grown kids. "I'm so thankful that my husband and I get to give that to our children," she added.
As Lemons' story shows, feeling like you're unable to turn to your parents for support is incredibly damaging.
A lot of adult children are turning to their parents for financial help now, but not every parent has the means to provide that, no matter how much they might want to help. However, there is no limit to the emotional support they can give.
Cultivating a supportive environment for children is as simple as parents validating their feelings, truly listening to them, refraining from judgment, and learning to share their own feelings with their kids. This sounds easy enough, but it can be very difficult for some. That doesn't make it any less worth it, though.
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As for Lemons, she has come to acknowledge the unfairness of her childhood and family life, while also recognizing that she doesn't have to feel like she became stronger because of that adversity. "Is it what makes you strong?" she asked in a subsequent post. "Or is it what just makes you have to survive? Because there's a difference."
She argued that living in survival mode can be confused for strength because you have no choice but to keep going, but that isn't some way to justify trauma. "Just because you turned out OK doesn't mean it was right," she declared. That's a truth that's worth shouting from the rooftops.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
