Mom Thinks Grandmothers Should Not Be Celebrated On Mother's Day Because It’s ‘Unreasonable’
BearFotos | ShutterstockMother's Day has a rich history in the U.S. dating back to the Civil War era. Today, we know it as a holiday to celebrate the important maternal figures in our lives.
There's been some debate over the years about how Mother's Day should be celebrated and whether the holiday has grown too commercialized, but you don't usually hear people argue about who should be honored. One mom took to Reddit to explain why she thinks we need to draw the line somewhere.
She disagrees with the idea that grandmothers should be included in Mother’s Day celebrations when they've already had plenty.
The mom posted in the r/Mommit subreddit to share what she described as a "rant." She controversially suggested, “Our parents have had 30 plus Mother’s and Father’s Days about themselves. Now that we (their children) have children, they need to give up the holiday.”
She continued, “It’s completely unreasonable to expect moms of little ones to organize and celebrate both our own mothers and mother-in-laws, with nothing left for ourselves.”
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This is something that appears to be a bit of a sticking point in her family, since both her mother and mother-in-law want to have an individual day to celebrate, which leaves her feeling like there's no room left for her to have a special day as well.
“Why do these boomers make everything about themselves?” she asked. “Can we just all agree that they can have Grandparents’ Day (Sept. 8), and we get to have our own holiday now?”
It would have been easy to take this mom's thoughts the wrong way, but a lot of people actually agreed with her.
One mom expressed her agreement, although she admitted she would never have the courage to act on her frustration. “I love my mom and mother-in-law dearly, but I agree with this 100%,” she said. “Could I refuse to do it? Yes. But my mom and mother-in-law are very involved and helpful grandparents, and I just don’t have the heart.”
Another mom who has grown older said she felt like the holiday wasn't really meant for her. “I’m a mother-in-law, and I agree!” she declared. “It’s for the moms in the trenches.”
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Still, a few people didn't share this mom's perspective. One kindly said, "Not cool that they expect you to organize something but I do think all moms should be celebrated. Neither my mom or mother-in-law expect anything, but I will always take time to make them feel special, even if it’s just flowers or a card. My ‘me day’ is my birthday.”
“I know my mom won’t always be around, so I am glad to do something special for her on Mother’s Day,” another mom shared. “It doesn’t need to only be about me or her; it’s for all moms.”
Splitting holidays like Mother's Day between multiple family members can feel difficult, but it's not impossible.
Mom and lifestyle writer Gabriela Garcia said that we all have to remember that there is no perfect way to make everyone feel as seen and included as they would like to be on holidays. Clear communication is key, so your family knows what your expectations and plans are.
Implementing little tricks like alternating which side of the family you celebrate specific holidays with and encouraging empty nesters, like grandparents, to visit you once you have children of your own, has been successful for some families. This could create a bit of a more equitable split between moms and mothers-in-law on Mother's Day.
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Of course, every mom deserves to be celebrated on Mother's Day, and moms who are now grandmas shouldn't have unrealistic expectations about their kids making the day all about them. This mother's frustration is understandable.
There's no right way to celebrate, but excluding her mom and mother-in-law doesn't feel like the best option when they've contributed so much to the family, too. Maybe they can find some sort of middle ground.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
