Kids Who Were Raised To Be Kind & Compassionate Were Usually Asked 7 Empathy-Based Questions Like These

We all try to teach kids how to use empathy and show compassion (Christopher and I even wrote a whole book about it!), but it’s kind of a mushy and nebulous subject.

Being kind is more than just saying “You look pretty today” to your partner or “I’m sorry” when you accidentally step on someone’s foot. It’s about being thoughtful when you speak.

But what does kindness and compassion actually look like when it comes from a young man? It looks like this video below. Experts insist that co-viewing media of all sorts with your kids can be enormously helpful. Not only can it be fun, you can share major life lessons in a medium that speaks to their generation, too. 

Kids raised to be kind and compassionate by their parents are often asked questions like these in order to increase empathy:

Summary: The woman (who is probably Gen-X and not technically a Boomer) is flying down a zip line, with her hand in front of the connector instead of behind it. That means she’ll crush her hand when she hits the end of the line.

How to be kind, even when there’s a misbehaving boomer on your zip line

The guy stops her FAST, which scares her to death. She hadn’t followed instructions, and the moment is tense.

But instead of getting angry at her, he shows compassion.Listen to what he says, then discuss.

RELATED: When Someone’s Extremely Empathetic & Observant, They Usually Notice 7 Things In Casual Conversation

Answer these “no wrong answers” questions together:

1. Lots of times we think of kindness as “soft” or weak; was this guy soft? Did that look like weakness?
2. Does this feel like “real man” behavior?
3. What might’ve happened if he’d stayed stern and scolded her for not following instructions? Would she have been receptive to the information?
4. What about him calling her “Mama”? She’s not his mom or his girlfriend. What makes it OK here or is it not OK?
5. What’s your overall impression of this man after watching this and thinking about it?
6. Would you want to do this zip line course? Why or why not? What if he were the one at the end, would that change things?
7. Are there parts of this young man’s demeanor that you’d like to emulate?

That’s it! Keep it short and simple, fun and even playful. These are intended to be short exercises in using media to connect and teach low-stakes lessons without lectures.

PerfectWave | Shutterstock

Questions for parents to ask ourselves:

1. Where and how do you think this young man learned to balance firm boundaries with compassion for his clients?
2. What can we learn from this kid about how we set boundaries and enforce consequences with our kids and even other adults?

RELATED: Emotionally Intelligent People Usually Say These 11 Phrases To Get You To Do Exactly What They Want

Bonus: Breaking down what happened in this tense moment:

1. What is the energy between these two in the first few seconds?
   1. (My answer: Tense!)
2. What does he say to defuse the tension? How does his voice change?
   1. (“You’re OK!” with a higher, softer voice)
3. How did he show her empathy?
   1. (“I know that was super scary for you” and his general physical interactions with her, etc.)
4. How did he set a boundary without using strength or intimidation?
   1. (“I’m gonna talk to you in just a sec, but let me get you where you’re comfortable” and then being CLEAR about why he shouted, but kind in his delivery.)

Remember, there's no way to do this wrong unless you scold or shame your kids for their responses. This is a chance to listen, laugh and find inspiration in just a few sweet moments together. 

RELATED: People Who Truly Care About Others Use These 11 Phrases On A Regular Basis

Joanna Schroeder is a parenting writer and media critic whose writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and more. She is a co-author of Talk To Your Boys: 6 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow into Confident, Caring Young Men, a USA Today bestseller in 2025.