If You Do 11 High-EQ Things On A Daily Basis, Your Parents Did An Outstanding Job
PeopleImages | ShutterstockOur childhood experiences influence the way we live our lives as adults. Some people establish their independence from an early age, while those who had helicopter parents may be reluctant to try new things. But when someone has high emotional intelligence (EQ), it's likely their habits reflect that, and indicates that their parents raised them well.
When kids are taught how to regulate their emotions in productive ways, they're better able to cope in certain situations. They're highly aware of their feelings and have great problem-solving skills, which affects the hobbies and interests they eventually develop.
If you have these high-EQ habits, your parents did an amazing job raising you
1. You set affirmations
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It's not easy to push back against the narrative your inner critic sets for you, but keeping up a daily practice of affirmations helps you believe in yourself and your capabilities. Affirmations are a way to take stock of your life and create an action plan for transforming what no longer serves you.
Speaking to yourself with loving kindness helps you believe in your own worth. Like any muscle, practicing affirmations builds up strength over time. They shift not only how you see yourself, but how you interpret the world around you.
If your parents raised you with unconditional support and love, they gave you the tools you needed to hold tight to their love. And as an adult, you've transferred that directly into how you see yourself.
2. You reach out to loved ones
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By making time for you as a kid, your parents instilled in you how valuable relationships are. They asked about your day and told you they loved you. They made effort to show up for you when you needed it, and gave their support no matter what. It helped you develop emotional intelligence.
As an adult, you put your people first. You might not be able to talk for hours on end, but you find free moments to touch base with your family and friends. Your parents passed along the invaluable wisdom that our connections sustain us, and you make it a daily habit to stay in touch with the people you love most.
3. You resolve conflicts calmly
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Your parents did an outstanding job raising you if you have excellent conflict-resolution skills. It means you're able to stay calm and show others respect, even during major disagreements. You're aware of your emotions and express them in healthy ways.
Growing up, your family home was a safe space for expressing big feelings. Your parents taught you how to self-regulate and enter conflict with the goal of finding solutions to benefit everyone involved. Because you learned practical skills to diffuse conflict, you've carried that lesson into adulthood.
When parents give their kids a container to safely express their emotions, they learn not to be scared of how they feel. Then, resolving conflicts can be a conversation, as opposed to an argument, where both people feel heard and held.
4. You have a balanced approach to work
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Your balanced approach to work means you understand that your work ethic is only as good as your ability to set boundaries and take care of yourself. Even when the demands of your job are high, you have the high-EQ tendency to be aware of how you're feeling and what you can or cannot take on.
According to a study published in Human Relations, children are witnesses to the way their parents work, which informs their own relationship to work as they enter adulthood. Childhood experiences shape the decisions people make around how they work, so if you watched your parents work themselves into the ground, you might grow up to believe that giving everything to your job is the right approach.
But because you learned young that work isn't your entire life, you know that it's essential to take breaks and honor your limits. You're committed to your role, but you don't allow that drive to overtake you. Your job provides you with a sense of purpose, but it's not the only thing that fuels you.
5. You process emotions mindfully
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When young kids have big feelings, it's easy for even the most well-meaning parents to brush those feelings aside. But creating a secure environment for kids to work out their harder emotions teaches them to process and self-regulate without falling apart.
Positive parenting is when parents raise their kids in an environment full of unconditional love and respect, rather than punishment. It's meant to be nurturing and supportive, building kids' confidence and promoting development.
When parents teach their kids emotional regulation, it sets them up to navigate life's inevitable roadblocks with self-compassion and grace. As an adult, it's clear that your parents did a great job with this, as you're able to work through how you feel without getting defensive or hostile.
6. You devote time to having fun
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Because your parents raised you in an environment where fun was encouraged, as an adult you carry that same mentality with you. Your parents understood the power of play, and it's helped you develop high emotional intelligence around balancing work and fun.
They didn't put undue pressure on you to grow up too fast. They encouraged you to play with your toys and celebrated the creative genius in everything you did. Now that you're an adult, you let yourself have fun because it's an act of self-care.
Having fun helps you relocate your truest self. Finding those little glimmers is a way to hold onto hope in an increasingly tumultuous world.
7. Your home is well-maintained
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Because your parents taught you the importance of cleaning up after yourself, as an adult you don't make yourself crazy trying to reach impossible standards of cleanliness. However, you still understand that caring for your space makes your life better.
You know that your external surroundings reflect your inner world. Staying organized reduces your stress and helps you stay focused. Thanks to your parents impressing upon you the importance of pitching in around the house, those life skills and sense of responsibility carried over.
8. You manage stress in healthy ways
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When life feels like it's spinning out of control, it's easy to fall into self-destructive patterns. But your parents gave you the tools to develop high emotional intelligence, and as a result, you're able to manage your stress in mindful and healthy ways.
In times of extreme anxiety and stress, you don't get trapped in a negative feedback loop, listening to your inner critic tell you how terrible you are at adulting. Instead, you treat yourself with kindness and take care of your basic needs.
9. You eat nourishing meals
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In the extended chaos of navigating adulthood, it's easy to put off the essential lesson we learned as kids: We need balanced, nutritious meals to fuel us. You might not have time to make three-course gourmet meals, but you keep your pantry stocked with staples so you can throw together a healthy meal without thinking too hard.
You know there will be nights where making a grilled cheese sandwich and eating over the sink is the best you can do, and that's more than okay. Listening to your body and paying attention to your hunger cues is half the battle. You take time to feed yourself because you care about yourself, and that in itself means your parents raised you well.
10. You take responsibility for your own life
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There's a lot about adulthood that we can't control. We have to pay bills and attend annoying work meetings. So much of being a grown-up is doing things we don't want to do, but blaming those challenges on everything but ourselves keeps us stuck in misery.
When you claim agency for your life, you put yourself in the position to change the parts you don't like. By taking responsibility for your life and your actions, you're showing just how much emotional intelligence you have and how it's led you through life.
11. You practice self-trust
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Part of being human means grappling with self-doubt, but because of your high-EQ tendency to trust yourself, you don't let your doubts wash you away completely. You check in with yourself, reflecting on your beliefs and actions, which allows you to stay aligned with who you really are.
As Stephanie Harrison, author of the book "The New Happy," shared, "When you make a promise to yourself, keep it. If you struggle with this, you need to make smaller promises that are achievable. Some of us have a habit of overcommitting, even to ourselves."
Trusting yourself means meeting yourself where you're at and not putting pressure on yourself to be anywhere other than where you are. Self-trust lets you celebrate all the small wins that lead you closer to your most authentic, whole-hearted life.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer based in Boston, Massachusetts who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
