'Helicopter Mom' Seeking A Daughter-In-Law Posts Her Expectations & Requires References From Ex-Boyfriends
mimagephotography | ShutterstockFor some, getting along with the in-laws isn’t always the easiest task. One prospective mother-in-law, however, decided to take matters into her own hands so there wouldn’t be any doubts about her expectations for her son's future wife.
Domineering mother-in-law tropes make great characters in sit-coms and movies, but as they say, real life is stranger than fiction, and sometimes those over the top personalities find their way into our lives. That doesn't immediately make them toxic or problematic, however. It sometimes just makes them quirky. What really matters is how her son handles this situation because becoming an adult doesn't always turn off that mama bear mindset, even if it should.
A mother seeking a daughter-in-law made a list of expectations on behalf of her son, and even asked for references from ex-boyfriends.
X user @ask_aubry recently uploaded a screenshot of a Facebook post by a mother named Patty Francis, who seemed desperate to find a wife for her 26-year-old son, William Francis, and a daughter-in-law for herself.
Patty began the post by listing her own expectations for any takers willing to accept the challenge of becoming her daughter-in-law. “Helicopter Momma seeking future daughter-in-law,” she wrote. “I prefer Republican, Christian, Hardworking, woman that's willing to relocate. She should enjoy cooking, cleaning, hunting, & fishing.”
Not only that, but she also emphasized that the perfect candidate would have no children that depend on her, claiming that her son is “all the kid one woman can handle.” Poor William, Patty needs some wingwoman lessons because this is not it.
Patty then detailed her son’s seemingly "small" list of expectations for the prospective bride-to-be, stating, “My son prefers females, preferably natural blonde, he's a butt guy (no flat [bottoms] should apply).” For the candidate’s reference, she added, “He is 26 years old, has 2 dogs, owns own home & business. Lil redneck but loves Jesus!!”
As if Patty's post wasn’t already enough of a Freudian nightmare, the devoted mom requested that all those interested should do the following: “FB messenger me 2 pics, a brief description of yourself, and 2 references (must be ex-boyfriends).” She concluded by adding, "Please share post, this boy ain't getting any younger!!”
People had a lot to say about the helicopter mom for her ridiculous post on behalf of her son.
One person wrote, “It’s time for Patty to cut the umbilical cord.” Another shared, “If my mother did this she wouldn't need to keep the ad up more than a minute after i found out about it, she'd be planning a funeral because the embarrassment alone would kill me. I can only imagine what the interview questions she no doubt has planned are.”
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While many felt that this post revealed an unhealthy level of emotional attachment between a parent and child, what some might call “emotional incest,” others speculated that there might be more to uncover about the son in question.
“Plot twist. William is secretly saving up $$$ to move to New York to start a fashion business with his boyfriend,” quipped one person. To this, someone replied, “She does say that he prefers women, but did not say he exclusively dates women.”
Despite the mother's efforts to find a suitable daughter-in-law, her 'expectations' are anything but realistic.
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While Patty no doubt has her son's best interests at heart, her "expectations" for a future daughter-in-law point out exactly why some men, specifically immature men, have such a hard time finding a partner or spouse. Nobody is perfect, of course, but seeking out that perfection in a potential mate is just not realistic.
The fact that she specifies that a future daughter-in-law cannot have children of her own shows the stigma attached to divorced or single women who date and have children. Furthermore, while there's inherently nothing wrong with having a physical preference, a woman's body should not be the determining factor in whether or not she is marriage material.
But let's take a moment to defend William here. We literally have no idea what his thoughts are or if he even knew about this bizarre personal ad. In fact, William could very well be in a relationship that his mom is simply not happy with. The issue here is with Patty and her need to still mother in the way she sees best. While being a parent doesn't magically stop at 18, choosing who your child dates absolutely crosses the line of what's appropriate and healthy.
As adult family expert Sylvia L. Mikucki-Enyart, Ph.D., wisely explained, "As a mom of a son and as a researcher who studies family dynamics, including in-law relationships, I understand both personally and professionally how bittersweet it is to see your children grow up, leave the nest, and start their own families. Although we love to see our children flourish, we also miss those days when we were our kid’s whole world — and that’s OK. We can feel both happiness and a twinge of sadness when our kids grow up. Acknowledging the duality of life and the mixed emotions that come with it are very different than what is happening for some who embrace #boymom culture."
Whether or not Patty made this post at the behest of her son, we’ll never really know. But one thing we can all agree on is that it's time for Patty to understand the duality of being a mom to an adult. She has to let her son go out on his own to find a future partner and stop jeopardizing her child’s chances of any relationship in the foreseeable future.
Xiomara Demarchi is a graduate from the University of Illinois at Chicago and a writer who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
