Gen X & Millennial Parents Often Say 13 Phrases That Older Generations Find Ridiculous
Tanja Nikolaenko | ShutterstockGen X and millennial parents don't always talk to their kids the way older generations did, and some of their favorite parenting phrases can sound ridiculous to people who grew up with stricter rules.
Many older parents were taught that adults made the rules, children obeyed, and difficult feelings didn't always need to be talked about. Gen X and millennial parents are more likely to explain their decisions and acknowledge their kids' emotions, but older generations think this approach is too gentle and makes parenting harder than it needs to be. Younger parents often see these phrases as valuable ways to raise kind, confident kids.
Gen-X & Millennial parents often say these phrases that older generations find ridiculous:
1. 'We don't comment on other people's bodies'
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By setting clear boundaries around healthy communication, empathy, and social interaction, parents can ensure their children build healthy relationships in adulthood before they're even teenagers. By leading by example, these parents help ensure they don't speak poorly or judge anyone around their children unnecessarily.
While some older generations may find this careful approach to language ridiculous or overly sensitive, Gen X and millennial parents often see it as a necessary part of raising kind, respectful kids. They prioritize conversations about uniqueness, individuality, and the power of empathy, deconstructing a harmful societal norm that appearance is more telling and important than internal thought, perspective, and kindness.
2. 'You can feel mad without being mean'
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Even though they can be uncomfortable to express, emotions like anger and frustration are important to communicate, as repressing them only fuels greater internal distress and anxiety. Supportive parents ensure they cultivate safe spaces for their children to express these emotions, even amid conflicts or arguments, without judgment or criticism.
Some older generations may see phrases that validate children's anger as overly sensitive or unnecessary, while Gen X and millennial parents often view them as a way to teach kids how to express difficult feelings without hurting others.
However, they do prioritize basic empathy. Their kids are allowed to express these uncomfortable emotions, but not at the expense of someone else's emotional well-being. Beyond emotional and mental health benefits, adult children who grew up with healthy parents also face a lower risk of physical ailments, compulsive habits, and chronic stress, according to a study published in Nature Human Behaviour.
3. 'What can we learn from this mistake?'
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While these powerful parenting phrases are important, children absorb more wisdom and empowerment from their parents when those parents lead by example. By sharing your own mistakes, taking accountability for hurtful actions, and stepping in to listen when children express frustrations, you can embody the kind of healthy adult they strive to become.
Some older generations may find discussing mistakes with children unnecessary or believe it weakens a parent's authority, while Gen X and millennial parents often see it as a chance to teach accountability and growth. According to the mental health magazine Psychologs, learning from our mistakes is a behavior that takes a lot of practice but remains foundational to our personal development, empathy, and perseverance.
4. 'No means no, even when you're talking to an adult'
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Equipping children with empowering skills to stand up for themselves and invest in their own self-esteem is incredibly important for parents to prioritize, as it sets the standard for their future relationships and well-being.
Of course, it's not just teaching kids phrases like "no means no" that sets them up for success. It's also respecting their boundaries when they express them. If they don't want a hug, respect that. If they don't want to finish a meal, don't force them.
Just as parents expect children to respect their choices, children should feel that same respect in return. Older generations who were taught never to question adults may find this approach excessive or think it gives children too much control, while Gen X and millennial parents often see it as an important lesson about consent and bodily autonomy.
5. 'It's okay to feel upset'
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Validating a child's feelings and their unique expression of uncomfortable emotions can set them up for success with emotional intelligence in adulthood, which involves empathy and self-awareness that are much more difficult to master later in life. Cultivating a safe space for open communication, as the Action For Healthy Kids organization explains, can help you to guide their comfort with conflict and intense emotions.
Some older generations may see this kind of emotional validation as overly sensitive or unnecessary, while Gen X and millennial parents often view it as a way to teach kids how to understand and manage their feelings.
6. 'Do you want help? Or do you just want me to listen?'
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Unprompted advice often lies at the heart of conflict and resentment between adult children and their parents. It can damage support and respect in families when a parent keeps giving advice even though their child just needs someone to listen.
Instead, parents who make room for their children's feelings focus on healthy communication by asking open questions and paying attention to what their children need, even when they have trouble putting those needs into words. Some older generations may think asking whether a child wants advice or simply wants to be heard is excessive, while Gen X and millennial parents often see it as a way to show respect and prevent unnecessary conflict. By listening, empathizing with their emotions, and only offering suggestions when asked, parents give their children opportunities to practice healthy communication.
7. 'You know your body better than anyone else does'
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Reminding children that they're the boss of their own bodies can be incredibly impactful for their self-esteem, for adult boundaries around their bodies, and for their ability to communicate through uncomfortable situations. Some older generations may think telling children they're in charge of their bodies gives them too much authority, while Gen X and millennial parents often see it as a way to teach consent and personal safety.
Supportive parents not only give children decision-making power over their own bodies but also ensure they feel empowered to set their own boundaries around certain behaviors, such as hugs from family members or what they eat.
8. 'I hear your opinion, but I'm not changing my mind'
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As clinical experts from the Child Mind Institute argue, adult children who grow up with healthy boundaries with their parents tend to harbor healthier relationships in adulthood, not just with them, but with their future partners, friends, and peers.
Even if they don't appreciate a phrase like this as teenagers, it reasserts a healthy boundary that protects the stability of the family dynamic. It also gives kids practice expressing difficult emotions while learning to respect the boundaries their parents set.
9. 'Thank you for helping with that'
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Expressing gratitude is incredibly important in any relationship, no matter how big or small the gesture. A study in the Journal of Happiness Studies argues that people who practice gratitude regularly live happier, more meaningful lives than those who don't, helping contribute to a balanced family dynamic even during tumultuous times.
By letting go of the entitlement some parents feel toward their children, Gen X and millennial parents create more room for empathy and gratitude. Some older generations may find it unnecessary to thank children for doing what's expected of them, while younger parents see it as a simple way to make kids feel appreciated and encourage helpful behavior.
10. 'Our paths may be different, but I still support you'
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According to the Santos Counseling Center, some attention-seeking behaviors in adulthood are intrinsically connected to their childhood experiences and relationships with their parents. If they didn't feel unconditionally supported or loved, they felt pressured to seek validation through certain behaviors.
On the other hand, children who grow up with supportive parents are often given the space to be themselves without judgment and are celebrated for who they are. They're supported simply because of who they are and aren't forced to beg for attention or approval.
Some older generations may think children shouldn't need constant reassurance, while Gen X and millennial parents often see phrases of support as a way to help kids feel secure in who they are.
11. 'I believe in you'
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Adult children who didn't feel supported by their parents growing up may resort to people-pleasing and attention-seeking behaviors to get the validation they lacked at home. By using a positive phrase like "I believe in you," parents can create a safe, open space for their children to build confidence. Some older generations may think kids don't need this kind of regular reassurance, while Gen X and millennial parents often see it as a simple way to make their children feel supported and capable.
Even prioritizing passing moments of support or family dinners, as a study in Nature Human Behaviour explains, can create pockets of space for parents to casually express their pride. For kids, these passing moments are incredibly important, helping to empower and motivate them in their daily lives and in expressing and experimenting with their authentic identity.
12. 'Your opinion matters'
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Alyson Gerber, the author of Taking Up Space, Focused, and Braced, argues that children who grow up in unsafe or unsupportive environments often struggle to express their emotions and have unhealthy relationships in adulthood. When their individuality isn’t celebrated, and their emotional needs go unmet, they may learn to repress their feelings and opinions instead of expressing them.
Some older generations may think telling children that their opinions matter gives them too much importance, while Gen X and millennial parents often see it as a way to help kids feel valued and comfortable speaking up at home.
13. 'Not everything will be easy, but you can handle hard things'
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Many parents feel an innate urge to protect their children from everything and try to solve all of their problems, even well into adulthood. This overprotectiveness isn't inherently bad, but it does take away from children's opportunities to learn perseverance, critical thinking, and independence.
That's why Gen X and millennial parents often remind their kids that struggling with something doesn't mean they can't handle it. Parents remind them that hard work often pays off, even if it's not in the ways they expect. Being excited about challenges and motivated to work through struggles is an important virtue that not every child learns early in life.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
