Baby Boomer Grandparents Who Don’t Speak To Grandkids Still Expect Texts On Mother's & Father's Day
4 PM production | Shutterstock A family who encountered a mismatch in expectations due to the generational gap between the grandparents, their son and granddaughters. But, once you hear the full story, you may start to wonder if the problem goes deeper than boomer vs. millennial.
Do grandparents who don't speak to their grandkids still deserve a text on Mother's Day?
A millennial son, father of twin girls, shared an unfortunate situation he was in with his parents.
“My parents are Boomers,” he explained, providing some background information. “My dad is 65 this year, and my mom is 62. I never had the greatest relationship with them, but I thought that would improve when my wife and I had my twin girls [in] January 2020.”
“They haven’t spoken to them one time,” he said of his parents’ relationship with his daughters. “They’ve made no effort to make a phone call, FaceTime, visit… nothing.”
His boomer parents ignore more than just their grandkids. “They don’t even attempt to contact my wife or I to ask how they’re doing, ask for photos, nothing,” he stated. “Once a year, we get a $100 Old Navy gift card.”
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Despite how they have treated their granddaughters, their son, and his wife, there are certain niceties that they still expect from their son. Every Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, they want a text from him.
On Father's Day, he usually sends his dad a text which is met with a one-word response like, "thanks." This year, however, his father’s response was different.
“We were moving across the country on Mother’s Day, so instead of his usual response, he said, ‘You could have wished your mom a happy Mother’s Day.’ I was a day late because we were driving through the desert at the time,” the son explained.
This was officially too much for him to handle. “I lost it,” he admitted. “Not only have they never wished us a happy parent’s day one single time, they haven’t contacted my kids.”
The man unleashed four years of rage on his parents, asking why they don't reach out, why they don't ask for photos or updates. He asked his father why he doesn't seem to care about his own granddaughters.
“His response, “Oh, how dare you? You’re so rude. We’re so easy to get along with. We give you space. We know you’re busy,’” his dad told him.
His dad tried to make up for the lack of connection, sharing that he and his wife often talk to others about how proud they are of their son and his family.
“‘Cool, Dad," the man replied. "I’m glad strangers know that you’re proud of us, but my kids don’t know that they have a grandpa,’” he replied.
Why so many millennials feel their boomer parents are failing as grandparents
According to the Tulsa Kids blog, “Millennials assert that their parents are not good grandparents. They claim that their parents are uninvolved, selfish, and not helpful.”
The author also shares that, “[i]n a perfect world, the generations could find a way to reach a compromise that makes everyone happy. As with most issues, the solution is communication… Having realistic expectations is critical.”
Boomers are definitely different as grandparents than previous generations. First, more boomers are in the workforce past age 65 than ever. They're also likelier to live a long time than any grandparent-aged population has been in recent history. They still have very active lives, and thus they're less invested in the details of their grandkids' lives.
Still, not being involved in your grandchildren’s lives at all is a very questionable thing to do. Yes, it's great they're giving him space, but swinging to the opposite side of the extreme end is also not the answer.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.
