Sheltered Kids Who've Never Seen Hard Times Actually Have 8 Major Advantages Over Everyone Else
BaLL LunLa | ShutterstockKids who grow up with happy childhoods and without hard times deserve more attention than they get. That's because it's easy to focus on how traumatic upbringings impact people.
Sheltered kids get a bad rap for not being tough. The truth is, people who had it pretty easy when they were growing up have some advantages that actually make life go smoothly. It's definitely not something they should feel ashamed of.
Advantages kids with pampered, easy childhoods have over others:
1. They recognize healthy relationships
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Kids learn by example. Even if they’re told a certain relationship is toxic, they’ll still get used to seeing it. If that feels normal to them, they might not do as much to avoid it later in their own lives.
Pediatric psychologist Hillary Kimbley, PhD, said that goes beyond the one-on-one relationships kids develop. It’s also a part of every social situation they’re in, including school and work.
If children think unhealthy relationships are totally normal, that can cause them a lot of pain for years to come. Being sheltered isn’t bad if it means knowing how you deserve to be treated.
2. They aren’t afraid of taking risks
Growing up in a safe environment doesn’t guarantee kids will be confident, but it does come with a unique advantage. No one would blame kids who are used to unpredictability for being more cautious and choosing the safer route so they don’t end up even worse off.
Being a crazy risk taker who’s willing to do pretty much anything isn’t a good idea either, but there is a happy medium. People who aren’t afraid of failure open themselves up to more opportunities, which gives these kids a clear advantage.
3. They don’t expect life to be chaotic
It sounds strange to say someone would expect their life to be chaotic, but we all get used to the environment we grow up in. That means some people feel more comfortable with instability because that’s what they’re familiar with.
Kids who have a stable home life get used to the exact opposite. They’re able to recognize the red flags of chaos for what they are instead of thinking that’s where they belong. Then they avoid people and places that would make their lives harder because they know they aren’t safe.
4. They know how to trust people
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Kids learn trust, just like pretty much everything else. Through his own research, Professor Ken Rotenberg found that “children must learn unique patterns of trusting for each person they encounter.”
Some people might think that sheltered children are too trusting, but it’s more likely that they’ll know how to trust the right people without constantly worrying about betrayal. Growing up with trustworthy adults sets a pattern kids can follow for the rest of their lives.
5. They don’t need time to heal from trauma
People who had traumatic childhoods can’t just move on when they’re older. That trauma can harm their mental and physical health over the long term and usually requires professional help to heal from.
That’s valuable work to do, and people shouldn’t avoid it. But it is an extra layer of effort they have to put into their lives. Kids who had it pretty easy don’t have to devote time and energy to healing their past.
6. They have energy for personal growth
As unfair as it is, kids who grow up in unstable homes don’t have as much energy for their education or the hobbies they’re interested in. They can’t focus on the things that help them grow as a person when they’re stuck in survival mode.
On the other hand, kids with better mental health usually get better grades, too. Having a safe environment where they can spend time learning and exploring is a huge advantage. That doesn’t mean kids with sheltered childhoods are destined to be more successful, but it does lead to noticeable differences in their lives very early on.
7. They can become whoever they want to be
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In an ideal world, children could do whatever they want with their lives. That’s obviously not reality, though. A lot of kids have to grow up too fast because they’re expected to take care of their siblings or their parents lean on them for an unhealthy amount of emotional support.
This can change their entire personality. For example, when parents teach their kids that they need to do whatever it takes to keep them happy, there’s a good chance that they’ll become people-pleasers.
In these situations, kids don’t get to find out who they really are and the kind of person they want to be. They’re forced to fill a role instead. Sheltered kids have more freedom when expressing themselves.
8. They aren’t afraid of the future
Worrying about the future is normal, especially for kids thinking about what life will be like when they become adults. But psychiatrist Frank Anderson, MD, explained that this can become so severe that it’s considered anticipatory anxiety.
This is often caused by a difficult past that people don’t want to repeat. Children who aren’t familiar with stability could easily worry that it will continue, and maybe even get worse, as they get older. They won’t be able to face the future with the same confidence and optimism that more sheltered kids have.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
