Kids Raised By Parents Who Made Them Work For Everything Usually Carry 8 Huge Advantages Into Adulthood
Travis182 | ShutterstockKids who had to work for what they wanted can carry those lessons into adulthood. Teaching kids to value effort prepares them for life on their own.
Parents who give their kids age-appropriate responsibilities and room to face challenges, while still offering support, give them a chance to learn through experience. With that balance, kids can grow up with advantages that last long after they’ve left home.
The 9 huge advantages kids raised by parents who made them work for everything have as adults:
1. They follow through even when they don't feel like it
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Teaching discipline doesn’t just mean forcing kids to do chores or help at home, although those things can be beneficial in many ways. It’s about teaching kids how to look after themselves, regulate through discomfort, and think critically, even when it’s not easy.
Kids raised by parents who made them work for things now have a disciplined mentality as adults. Even when it’s easier to procrastinate, stay stagnant, or avoid accountability in their own lives, these adult kids learned from their parents that effort and discomfort aren’t bad things.
2. They handle discomfort without immediately backing away
We have to endure discomfort and face challenges in order to grow. While some people spend all their energy avoiding this discomfort or trying to stay stagnant to avoid change, kids raised by empowering, supportive, hard-working parents are given a different perspective.
Not only are they comfortable leaning into challenges, but they’re also secure and regulated enough to do so well. They don’t run from mistakes because they know how to learn from them. They step outside their comfort zones because they understand that no one is coming to save them.
3. They look for solutions when something goes wrong
Many kids with a strong work ethic had to face challenges and adversity in small doses, even with the best parents. Usually, their parents placed them in these situations themselves, giving them the tools and support to lean into discomfort for the sake of personal growth.
Luckily, they also learned how to regulate their emotions without giving up when things got hard. That’s why they’re not chronic complainers today. They both know how to figure things out themselves and how to ask for help, without venting or ruminating, and without taking action in the end.
4. They know when to ask for help
Kids who are secure enough to ask for and receive help usually had parents who taught them how to work hard and think critically. They knew that, no matter how uncomfortable trying and failing was, they would always have parents to turn to when they needed help.
They didn’t step in to complete something when their kids were bored or confused, but they did give them the tools to figure it out themselves. They’re comfortable with asking for help now because they know their own strength. They’re also comfortable asking for it, unlike people who are a little bit too comfortable with their hyper-independence.
5. They take pride in their effort, even when things don't work out
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Parents give their kids discipline and resilience by focusing on their effort and the trying, rather than the end result. Instead of praising kids for making the honor roll or earning an award, they say, “I’m proud of you for trying your best” and “That was hard, but you did it.”
Yes, kids deserve to be celebrated for their accomplishments, but teaching them to appreciate and take pride in the process of success is just as, if not more, important. They grow into adults who lean into challenges and take pride in overcoming obstacles, even when they don’t get the outcome they were hoping for.
They can still learn, grow, and feel secure, even without the validation of their achievement at the end.
6. They think twice before spending their money
Even if they didn’t learn a ton of practical financial literacy, kids who had to work and wait for what they wanted learned how to value the dollar. Compared to kids whose parents gave in to every desire and bought them whatever they wanted, these kids had to invest in what they wanted, whether by working for an allowance or saving their money.
Rather than giving in to every fleeting comfort and desire as adults, they have a stronger sense of what’s actually worth their money.
7. They appreciate what they get instead of expecting it
Entitled kids are often coddled emotionally and handed everything they want by parents trying to protect their comfort. Instead of learning to work for what they get and practicing gratitude, they end up expecting others to meet their wants and desires without question.
As adults, kids who had to work for themselves at home are naturally less entitled. Their parents made them figure things out and exercise their own discipline, and now, they’re less dependent on external validation and access to feel secure.
8. They trust themselves to handle responsibilities
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While some kids develop hyper-independence from parentification, parents who know how to balance offering their kids independence with support help them develop a healthy level of self-reliance.
These kids don’t need constant validation or dependent relationships to feel secure, because they’ve spent their most impressionable years learning to care for themselves. They can handle discomfort, put in effort, and regulate their emotions, even in the face of minor inconveniences and challenges.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies, focusing on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human-interest stories.
