Mentally & Emotionally Exhausted People Usually Have 4 Thoughts Cross Their Mind At Least Once A Day
kaboompics.com | PexelsThe more successful you are, the more exhausted you tend to be.
According to career mindset coach Chris Castillo, talented people often blame themselves, assuming their unhappiness is a character flaw. But certain thoughts people have may actually be a sign of burnout, and high achievers almost always struggle with them.
People who are exhausted usually have these thoughts at least once a day
1. 'Unfortunately, I wasn't fired in the latest round of layoffs'
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That may sound kind of odd, but if you're working yourself to the bone, a job loss can look an awful lot like a forcible paid vacation.
"I've actually heard this one kind of a lot," Castillo revealed. "I've had clients say they were jealous of their workers who got [let go], which they then feel guilty about, almost as if it's survivor's guilt."
Castillo also explained that she's had clients on the other side of the issue, who were let go but then thanked the heavens they were finally free. As she said, "This happens in my experience because so many high achievers push through and push through and push through, until they get to this place where it feels like the only option is to eject."
While some people may see a layoff as a relief, it's important to treat yourself with kindness and practice self-care. Talk to the people you trust when you're feeling down. Take care of your physical and mental health. Above all, remember that your job doesn't define your worth.
2. 'I wish I could turn my brain off and care less about my career'
According to Castillo, "I still remember this one consult call where this girl cried and said this to me. 'I wish I could just care less; I want to be someone who doesn't care about my career. It's almost debilitating how much I care.'"
She added that many high achievers feel incredibly overwhelmed by how much they care about their job. But they become stuck when they can't just will it away.
The key here, Castillo encouraged, is "decentering your career" and "building tolerance to doing less." Essentially, setting boundaries with your job.
This can be incredibly hard at first, but if you give yourself space to get the hang of it, it's incredibly beneficial in the long run. It means you aren't basing your happiness on how well you're doing in your job. Instead, you can be okay with not doing more than you can handle.
3. 'I feel like I have to work ten times harder than everyone else to prove myself'
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Castillo recalled a client who was struggling with setting boundaries, and she finally asked her to name the benefit of overworking herself. Why was she doing this?
"She felt some level of imposter syndrome in a role, so as a result of [that], she felt like she had to work ten times harder than everyone else to prove herself," Castillo revealed.
This struggle is ultimately about acceptance and tolerating discomfort. For high achievers, that means coming to an understanding that you must build tolerance to certain things. It means recognizing that "no matter how hard we work, you can't ensure we never get fired."
A survey by Deloitte found that 77% of workers say they've experienced burnout in their current jobs. Burnout is such an epidemic that people are driving themselves to the edge of insanity.
It's important to understand that we can't prevent people from judging us or doubting us. We can't control how others perceive us. All we can do is have confidence in ourselves.
4. 'It's easier if I just stay at this job'
Castillo admitted that she hears this phrase all the time. People like this often rationalize how they feel, thinking, "I know I don't like it, but really technically, on paper, it's good, and maybe there's nothing I'd like more."
She attributed this to the fact that many high achievers are scared, so they stay at a job and settle under the guise of "better the devil I know than the devil I don't." They're uncomfortable with changes like this, despite how beneficial that change could be for them.
This fear is often rooted in another fear, however. People think that searching for a job or career they might like better will lead them to realize "the answer is there's nothing." This keeps them rooted in "something that tears them apart each day."
But as Castillo further explained, she has yet to meet a single person for whom that is true. "Yeah, it can feel like we have no spark, but it doesn't mean that we actually have no spark. We're just super out of touch with it," she encouraged.
For people who are exhausted and burnt out, even though they're thinking these things on a daily basis, they should consider another way of thinking. As Castillo concluded, "Don't you owe it to yourself to at least explore and start prioritizing what you want over sacrifices? I think you do."
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
