People With Zero Self-Awareness Usually Say 6 Rude Phrases At Work Without Thinking
Chay_Tee | ShutterstockYour co-workers can make or break a job, but a lot of times they don't realize how rude they're being, especially when they lack self-awareness.
The tone they adopt even when they think they're being helpful can often come across as looking down on you and your work. These people tend to use phrases that are condescending, even if they're trying to be a mentor.
People who lack self-awareness might say these phrases at work without realizing they are actually quite rude:
1. 'I'm sorry you feel that way'
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Wording can be the difference between coming across as condescending or empathetic. You may think that this phrase is a way to show support, but it can actually leave people feeling invalidated.
Author and psychologist Tessa West explains why this is the wrong thing to say when a co-worker expresses their concerns. “It ‘ticks the empathy box,’ so to speak. But it feels invalidating at the same time because it doesn’t contain any language signaling that the listener is willing to dive into the source of the emotion being expressed,” she says, pulling from her book, "Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them."
2. 'We've already tried that, it didn't work'
When you're in a stressful work setting, it can be easy to take out that frustration on your colleagues, particularly those in lower positions.
It may feel redundant to apply a technique to an idea that failed the first time, but things don't stay the same, and neither should your outlook. When a new co-worker suggests a failed strategy, it's best to respond either with an open mind or with polite feedback. Career coach Becca Carnahan recommends you put it this way: "‘I see where you’re coming from with that idea. We did try something similar years ago and had challenges with execution, but share a bit more about how you’re thinking we could try it now.'"
3. 'You'll understand it once you have more experience'
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While this may be true, it's not necessarily encouraging to somebody starting out in your industry and eager to learn. It's also unfair to associate seniority with success. Young minds won't be willing to offer their ideas if they aren't validated.
The generation employers most avoid hiring is Gen Z, which helps explain the skewed age range in workplaces. Many lazy stereotypes have been cast on the young generation, and these assumptions have introduced ageism into the hiring process. In a Resume Builder survey, 3 out of 4 managers reported that Gen Z is difficult to work with, and that's why they avoid adding them to the team.
However, many of the traits that older generations see as drawbacks are actually the reasons for their strong work ethic. The age group is known for its lofty goals, with personal fulfillment as the primary factor behind career choices. This motivator leads to happier, more successful employees who are working for enjoyment rather than necessity.
Instead of leaving things shrouded in mystery to boost your own sense of authority, explain even the complex things to the newbie. They may understand better than you think, and perhaps even bring a fresh new perspective to your work.
4. 'Don't worry about it; I'll handle it'
You may think you're being helpful by taking over someone's task when it goes awry, but it actually just comes off as condescending. You're taking away their opportunity to learn and making them feel embarrassed. This is another way of playing into the hierarchical roles established in companies by seniority.
Carnahan explained that this behavior is more common than you think, and you may be contributing to it without realizing it. "Condescension in the workplace generally comes from three places ― not being aware of how your communication style impacts others, frustration manifesting itself as passive aggressiveness, or a desire to lift oneself up,” she explained.
5. 'We've always done it this way'
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Just because something isn't necessarily wrong doesn't mean that there isn't a better, more efficient way to do things. Shutting down new ideas can stifle creativity, and creativity is one of the best ways to make a company flourish.
You may not love corporate speak, but it's important to be mindful of how you phrase your feedback in the workplace. Instead of shooting down people's ideas because of a fixed mindset, it's recommended that you use phrases such as "Why don't we try something new and see how it works? We can experiment with different approaches and learn from the results," or "I'm open to suggestions. Let's think outside the box and see if there are any innovative ideas we can implement to improve our processes.”
Staying set in your ways will leave you in the same position or routine. And being rude will only make colleagues feel uncomfortable working with you.
6. 'That's actually really smart'
Backhanded compliments are hurtful. When you put "actually" before a compliment, it negates the positive quality you've noticed. Now, they're wondering why you're so surprised that they had a good idea, and what you really think about them.
When you want to recognize that a co-worker's doing well, you should keep it as sincere as possible. It also helps to be specific, as it can provide feedback that'll lead to more successes in the future. It's also recommended that you keep your compliments timely, so that they receive instant gratification. This will motivate your colleagues to maintain a strong work ethic, even when they encounter difficult tasks.
Gabrielle Mattes is a writer working towards a Creative Writing degree. Her focus is lifestyle, wellness, human interest, and relationships.
